England left with plenty to prove after poor show

AT 1.23pm yesterday, as the last rites were performed in the dust of Dubai, English cricket received a wake-up call.

It was one that appeared to scream: “You’re not as good as you think you are.”

And it will reverberate from Canterbury to Chester-le-Street and all points between.

Defeat by 10 wickets inside three days was a desperate way for England to begin their defence as world No 1.

In their first game since rising to the top of the Test rankings, Andrew Strauss’s men played more like zeroes than heroes, a mere shadow of the side that, 12 months earlier, swept away Australia with something near contempt.

Although there is a tendency in my industry towards knee-jerk reaction, it is impossible to dress-up a dismal display.

It was a result and a performance that was frankly unacceptable.

And it cast doubt over England’s ability to stay top of the tree.

So, where did it all go wrong?

How could a team who thumped Australia and then annihilated India last summer come unstuck in no uncertain terms?

From here, it appeared one did not need to look much further than the batting department.

In the first innings, the top six of Andrew Strauss, Alastair Cook, Jonathan Trott, Kevin Pietersen, Ian Bell and Eoin Morgan scored 19, 3, 17, 2, 0 and 24, respectively.

In the second innings, they managed 6, 5, 49, 0, 4 and 14.

Those figures look more like National Lottery numbers than the contributions expected of England’s top-six. Just Matt Prior, who top-scored with 70 in the first innings, Trott and Graeme Swann, who contributed a pair of 30s, emerged with any credit from a batting perspective.

Otherwise, it was a catalogue of calamity so cringeworthy that the only saving grace was there were hardly any spectators present to watch it.

Indeed, the paucity of spectators at the Dubai International Cricket Stadium, inconveniently situated in the back of beyond, was even propounded on Twitter as a reason for Pietersen’s contributions of 2 and 0.

“Someone should tell him all the spectators have come painted as empty seats,” posted one angry wag, referring to Pietersen’s propensity for playing to the gallery.

His dismissal yesterday was of the X-rated variety and neatly encapsulated England’s woes.

In an ever-frantic attempt to get off the mark, Pietersen was caught on the hook – a mode of dismissal that looks decidedly unflattering at the best of times, let alone when one’s team is heavily in arrears.

Pietersen, however, was not solely responsible for the second innings shambles.

Several others could only hang their heads as Pakistan’s bowlers ran through the ranks.

Cook was another caught off a short ball, while Trott edged behind in lazy fashion.

And although Strauss was unfortunate to be caught by the wicketkeeper off a delivery he did not seem to hit, the captain’s performances have been scratchy of late and represent an ongoing cause for concern.

Strauss has passed 50 only once in his last 12 Test innings – which is not so much leading from the front as bringing up the rear.

One has to go back to November, 2010 for his last Test century – 110 against Australia in Brisbane.

Worryingly, the Middlesex man has managed only two Test hundreds in his last 49 innings.

It is a record that would surely come under greater scrutiny were he not leading the nation who are world No 1.

At the start of an important year for Strauss and a pivotal one for England, the consensus must be there is much work to do.

Defeat in Dubai – as well as illuminating their own inadequacies – showed there is no outstanding side in cricket today.

As well as England played in Australia last winter, the fact is they were competing against ordinary opponents.

India were also a shadow of their former selves in England last summer, their deficiencies now further exposed by a rejuvenated Australia.

Of course, there is plenty of scope for the picture to change.

All criticisms are made with the time-honoured caveat that all could alter in the blink of an eye.

Improved performances during the second and third Tests against Pakistan and people will start to wonder what the fuss was about.

But there is little to suggest improvement is on the cards.

Michael Vaughan summed it up perfectly yesterday.

Speaking on Test Match Special, the former England captain and Yorkshire batsman said: “The batting has been embarrassing at times in this Test.

“The conditions are different to what they’re used to.

“But they’re No 1 in the world, they’ve had two three-day games to prepare and they’ve got all the analysts you could want to tell them about the bowlers they’re going to face, and they’ve not adapted at all.”