David McGoldrick had what he thought was a legitimate equaliser ruled out for offside in the build-up, but recovered to claim a point through George Baldock.
It was Baldock's first Premier League goal, and would have been McGoldrick's first for the Blades.
Wilder is a supporter of the video assistant referee system, but thought it took too long to reach a decision. John Lundstram was given offside on the right in the build-up. The ball was worked over to the left and put in by Enda Stevens for McGoldrick to finish.
“When’s the reset? That’s the confusion,” said Wilder. “The ball came back out again after that.
“The length of the stoppage doesn’t do anyone any good. If it’s offside then we have to deal with it.”
But deal with it Sheffield United did.
Only two minutes earlier they had gone behind to a third goal in a week for Son Heung-min, who was due to miss Saturday's game through suspension until his red card against Everton was overturned.
They equalised when Baldock's 78th-minute cross went straight in, but only after another lengthy delay presumably to see if Chris Basham had got a touch and if he had been in an offside position.
It extended the Blades's unbeaten run to five Premier League matches and moved them up to fifth in the table ahead of Arsenal's trip to Leicester City.
“It’s nothing less than I’d expect from this group,” Wilder said of the way his team responded. “I think we deserved something out of the game and everybody in the stadium would have been in agreement.
“I’m proud of how we played against a team who were in the Champions League final (in May) in their own backyard.
“It’s a terrific performance from our players. The position we’re in, we’ve got 16 points from 11 games and can those boys afford to have a day off? Spurs were favourites and we were expected to lose but I asked them if they were happy with that. They weren’t and I think they’re disappointed in there about not getting all three points.”
Wilder wants to see VAR reviewed and improved at the end of the season.
“I think in certain things you have to go to the process and have a big look at it in the summer,” he commented. “It’s here to stay and there’s no doubt about it
“I went to Everton to watch them plays Spurs and the amount of time it took was too much. It’s changed the game and obviously it’s going to create debate.”