Review: Ted (15)

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Dating back to the early 20th-century, the teddy bear remains to this day a potent symbol of childhood innocence.

Stuffed animals can also be incredibly valuable: bears handmade by the world renowned German firm Steiff, distinguished by a button in their ears, are highly desirable to toy collectors.

In December 1994, the auction house Christie’s in London broke records when a Japanese businessman paid £110,000 for a 1905 Steiff bear called Teddy Girl.

Evidently, these cuddly and comforting critters are not mere child’s play.

And so to Ted, which is no family film, but a deliciously foul-mouthed comedy that employs the magic of digital trickery to bring to life one rotund stuffed bear as a buddy for a lonely boy.

Child and toy become inseparable and the furry scamp and his human owner embark on a series of deranged and debauched misadventures that fully justify the film’s 15 certificate – in the US it was given an R rating, equivalent to an 18 over here.

It’s a simple premise – essentially a live action version of Toy Story – albeit with the eponymous bear accepted as a talking, skirt-chasing entity by everyone he encounters.

Writer-director Seth MacFarlane, creator of the irreverent animated comedies Family Guy and American Dad!, has great fun with 
his real and virtual characters, taking verbal pot shots at Susan Boyle, Taylor Lautner and Superman actor Brandon Routh in a script that gleefully sticks up two fingers to political correctness.

“Here is the story of a little boy and his magical wish that changed his life forever,” intones the droll narrator (Patrick Stewart), who transports us back to Christmas 1985, when a 
boy called John Bennett (Bretton Manley) stares adoringly at his favourite teddy and whispers, “I 
wish you could talk. Then 
we could be friends forever and ever.”

A shooting star passes overhead and thanks to the alignment of the stars, the next morning John introduces the exceedingly animated Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) to his dumbfounded parents (Ralph Garman, Alex Borstein).

Fast-forwarding to the present day, John (Mark Wahlberg) now works for a car rental company and has a beautiful girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis).

When their four-year anniversary dinner ends in a fractious discussion about priorities, John responds by asking his best buddy to move out of the apartment and stand on his own two paws.

Ted has a generous smattering of belly laughs, although some of the best moments have been repeated ad nauseam in trailers.

Wahlberg is perfectly suited to his role as a goofy hopeless romantic and screen chemistry with Kunis simmers, if it never quite boils.

Digital effects are excellent, seamlessly melding the bear with live action in hare-brained action sequences, including a hysterical hotel room punch-up and a climactic race around a sporting venue that may have grown men choking back tears.

A running gag about a classic 1980 film results in a wonderful cameo to fan the flames of our wistful nostalgia.