Why I’m taking Jedward’s side in their face mask spat with Noel Gallagher: Anthony Clavane

Jedward are geniuses. There, I said it. And I feel a lot better for it.

I used to think the blond-haired, blue-eyed brothers were, in the words of Simon Cowell, “not very good and incredibly annoying”. I hated their out-of-tune singing. I hated their “cheeky” sense of humour. I hated their faux American accents.

But, most of all, I hated their gravity-defying quiffs.

Hair today, gone tomorrow; John and Edward Grimes seemed to disappear from public life for many years, which was good for my blood pressure. It was like Planet Jedward had never existed.

But they’re back. And I love them.

How to explain this change of heart? Well, I give you this intro to a story in the Daily Express: “Twins duo John and Edward have urged celebrities and influencers to speak out on wearing face masks but do the twins have girlfriends?”

The question posed at the end of this sentence has never caused me any loss of sleep. I couldn’t even tell you which one is John and which one is Edward. My excuse is that they are nearly identical in appearance – although John, I am reliably informed, has a scar above his left eyebrow.

So, let’s forget the invasion of their private life and celebrate, instead, their invasion of public life.

For their latest public outburst, urging people to take wearing face masks seriously, is a very welcome intervention as coronavirus cases rise sharply.

I am deadly serious in congratulating the twins for becoming the voice of reason during this pandemic. Responding this week to Noel Gallagher, who had complained that 
face coverings were a violation of his liberty, they completed their metamorphosis from bequiffed buffoons to straight-talking, sensible commentators.

The rock star declared: “I choose not to wear one. If I get the virus it’s on me, it’s not on anyone else… There’s no need for it. They’re pointless.” To which my new heroes responded: “You seem really angry – maybe wear a mask. Lockdown and the pandemic has been intense on us all but after hearing this interview are you OK?”

They also took aim at another Mancunian indie star, Stone Roses frontman Ian Brown, calling him out for tweeting, earlier this month: “No lockdown, no tests, no tracks, no masks, no vax.” To which my new heroes responded: “The public have lost all respect and credibility for your views! Your music and cheekbones are a dream but your tweets are a nightmare.”

My new heroes might never have won X Factor but they are most certainly winning Twitter. Indeed, they are the unsung heroes of the pandemic.

They also attacked guitarist Jim Corr, of The Corrs fame, for praising the “great turnout” of an anti-mask protest in Dublin and claiming coronavirus was a hoax; the demonstrators, they noted, were “selfish low lives”.

We are living in strange times. 2020 has been a crazy year. It has triggered many an unexpected turn of events. 
But Jedward’s reinvention as a force for political good has, by far, been the strangest, craziest, most unexpected thing of all.

In the past, we have been used to the likes of Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Billy Bragg, Chumbawamba and Charlotte Church mixing pop and politics.

Never, in a million years, would anyone have predicted the much-mocked, reality TV drama queens joining that list.

Cynics will point out that picking fights with celebrities – Piers Morgan, JK Rowling, Donald Trump to name but three – has been part of a clever social media strategy designed to boost their fanbase, revive their career and increase sales of their latest release.

I prefer to see their new interest in politics, and their desire to speak up for noble causes, as a genuine maturation into likeable and socially responsible – if still at times annoyingly over-enthusiastic – public figures.

Whatever the motive, they are right to call out Gallagher, Brown, Corr and other celebrities.

It’s simple. Face masks reduce everyone’s risk for infection. End of.

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James Mitchinson