Dads' army stepping out on the home front

But in the last 10 years that has all changed. It has become the norm for women to go back to work after having their children, often putting the care of their little ones in the hands of paid child-carers or grandparents.

Now, however, it seems that an increasing number of men are deciding to stay at home to look after the children, while the women go out to work.

A new survey out this week revealed that the number of dads staying at home to care for young children has risen 10 times in as many years.

The study, from Aviva, reveals that an increasing number of men are taking hold of the apron strings while their partner goes out to work, often simply because the woman earns more than her significant other. One in six couples (16 per cent) with dependent children say that the main wage earner is female.

Compared with only 60,000 men who took on the role of the primary parent 10 years ago, Aviva found that now more than 600,000 UK men – or six per cent of men with dependent children – regularly look after their children while their wife or girlfriend works, signifying a ten-fold increase.

The study also revealed a number of emotive responses from role-reversing parents:

Of women who are the main breadwinner:

Four in 10 (37 per cent) feel guilty going out to work and leaving their children.

one in seven (15 per cent) say they occasionally resent their partner because they have to go out to work

although fewer than one in 10 (nine per cent) say they'd actually want to swap places with their partner to be the stay-at-home parent.

Whereas men who are the stay-at-home parents say:

Three-quarters (75 per cent) feel lucky to be spending time with their children.

Around a third (29 per cent) find looking after children more rewarding than going out to work.

Although one in 10 (10 per cent) say looking after children makes them feel "less of a man".

< One in five (17 per cent) wish they earned more so they could go out to work while their partner cared for the children.

Louise Colley, head of protection marketing for Aviva, says: "While generally speaking it's still more usual for men to take the more conventional role of the main income earner, our research shows that this is shifting and more women are becoming the breadwinners.

"While both roles are equally valuable, nowadays it's quite likely that women will be heading off to the office while men are changing nappies and doing the school run."

Paul Smith decided that he would give up his job when his wife was expecting their first child.

"We both believe that children should be raised by their parents; after all, what's the point in having children if you are then going to give them over to someone else to bring up for most of the time.

"We have got nothing against nurseries, and I understand that not everyone is the position to be able to give up one income, but we do feel that children, particularly when very young, benefit a lot more by being with either parent in their own home."

As his wife got more out of her job and earned more, he was the one to give up work. "My wife was much happier with the thought of going back to work knowing that our child was going to be at home with me than she would be if she had to leave them in a nursery full-time, and, as she is a teacher, we all benefit greatly by having the school holidays off together.

"We are lucky in that my wife earns a reasonable amount and we don't have an extravagant lifestyle so can afford for me to stay at home.

"With some economising and some flexible working hours, many more parents could find a way to be able to spend more time at home with their children, whether one person works full-time or they both work part-time."

Paul has set up the website www.stayathomedads.co.uk to help other men who take the decision to look after their young children while their partner returns to work.

PAUL'S TOP TIPS FOR STAY-AT-HONE DADS

Consistency

Children need routine and consistency. You have to be consistent in the way you behave, the way you discipline and the way you do things day-to-day.

If children don't know what is happening, or what to expect, they will get very confused and upset. This will lead to bad behaviour, irritable tempers and very frustrated children.

By having a regular routine and definite rules, your children will understand what is going on and will know what is expected of them.

Of course, the routine is not set in stone and doesn't need to be exact to the minute, but you do need a general schedule for each day and to keep certain things like meal times, bath times and bedtimes at roughly the same time every day.

Get out

Being stuck in the house with children all day every day is enough to make you go stir-crazy, so try to get out of the house as much as you can.

Kids love getting outside and there are loads of places you can take them to, such as parks, play centres, shops, libraries, museums, swimming pools, toddler groups, children's gyms, farms and zoos.

Socialise

As well as getting out of the house, it is also important to meet and socialise with other people as well. Children like to play with other kids and they also learn a lot about how to behave within a group, how to share, how to make friends and how to look after themselves.

Get a hobby

By having your own interests you will keep your mind active, retain your identity, and it also means that you will have something else to talk about with friends other than your children.

Furthermore, it is good for your children to see that you have your own life and interests and that you are not just their daddy but a person in your own right too.

Enjoy your time

Being a stay-at-home dad is tough, tiring, demanding work. It is also very rewarding and fulfilling, but often those feelings can be overwhelmed by the long days and nights of constant caring and seeing to your children's needs.

So it is important to try to have some fun and appreciate the time that you spend with your kids.

They grow up very fast and you don't want to regret not making the most of the time you had with them.