Divorce: You are not alone – support is out there

Separation and divorce are very common and often very stressful, but when Rosalind Moffitt looked for a support group to help her, she found nothing.

"There seemed to be a number of fathers' rights groups, but nothing for mothers," says Rosalind, from North Yorkshire. "It was a really strange experience."

Through a mutual friend, she met up with Jennifer Heathcote-Osborne, and they realised they had a lot in common. At first it was a cyber friendship, mostly conducted through email.

"We realised there was a gap in the market for a charity supporting women before, during and after separation and divorce."

So they set up the charity and website Maypole Women with the aim of offering a voice to women, especially those with children, widening the debate on safe and fair resolutions to child care and custody disputes.

"The majority of mothers want their child to have a meaningful relationship with the father, but sharing care after separation can have practical and sometimes safety implications," says Rosalind.

She said although shared care could be positive, it was often difficult for many women, especially those who have come out of abusive relationships, and there were often a lot of reasons why shared care may not work.

"In an abusive relationship it is all about control, the problem with shared care can be that that control can continue through the process," says Rosalind, a freelance writer.

She said the aim of Maypole was to reduce the stress of parental separation for women and their children, and to ensure parental separation was safe and fair for all.

"We also aim to raise awareness of the issues facing women, and campaign for women's needs to be taken into account in the family law process," says Rosalind, who is pulling together a panel of experts to offer advice to Maypole members.

As well as advice and information Maypole wants to help women through the whole legal process.

The charity has four main aims:

To provide information, advice and support to mothers at and after parental separation.

To support mothers in helping their children maintain meaningful relationships with both parents, when safe to do so.

To promote research and understanding into the issues facing mothers during and after parental separation.

To promote safe, fair, accessible and effective solutions to custody disputes.

Jennifer, a psychological therapist, said: "We have already had lots of very positive responses from women, who say the information on our website explains what they are going through exactly.

"We hope by offering support and raising awareness that we can reduce the stress of separation, and the many challenges affecting children and their parents can always be addressed appropriately in the future."

"Sometimes it just helps to know there are people out there going through the same thing as you," added Rosalind.

The website can be viewed at www.maypole.org.uk