Expert Answers: How can I make my husband take test?

Many people are terrified by the thought of cancer so to go for testing can cause a lot of anxiety.

You can't make your husband do something he doesn't want to do but you can find out as much as you can about prostate cancer so that, when you talk to him, you do so knowledgeably.

The PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test is almost certainly the one he's been offered and while it is a step forward it can give both false positive and false negative results.

It is not a test specifically for cancer, but can show that there is a problem with the prostate.

There are all kinds of reasons why PSA levels can be higher than they should be; cancer is only one of them but an aggressive form of the disease may also be caught early.

Your husband is right – it is his choice and he needs to consider all the advantages and disadvantages of the test.

The Prostate Cancer Charity has done a lot of work into the issue of PSA testing and a free booklet and report are available on the website (prostate-cancer.org.uk).

Arm yourself with their information and you might find it easier to help your husband.

Most women go for regular mammograms (breast screenings) and smear tests and are aware that results aren't always accurate but we go for them anyway, as a first line of defence.

Get your husband to look at the arguments for and against before making a final decision about this.

For more information, he can also speak to his GP or call The Prostate Cancer Charity's free and confidential Helpline, on 0800 074 8383.

The Prostate Cancer Charity's website is at prostate-cancer.org.uk and the helpline number is 0800 074 8383. It is available from 10am-4pm, Monday to Friday and also from 7pm-9pm on Wednesday.

KNOW YOUR PROSTATE

Five things you need to know about prostate cancer:

1. The prostate is a gland, found only in men, that is usually the shape and size of a walnut lying underneath the bladder and surrounding the tube (urethra) that urine and semen pass through;

2. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer for men in the UK but cancer is only one of three possible problems that can affect this gland and all three can have similar symptoms;

3. The Prostate Cancer Charity provides support, information, research and campaigns for better treatment and diagnosis; it tries to ensure more men are aware of the risks;

4. It runs a confidential helpline (staffed by specialist nurses) offers reliable, up-to-date, specialist support and information and also gives callers the chance to express their feelings;

5. The website covers a full range of prostate problems, and is a useful source of information.

Paul Charlson

GP from Brough

You might reasonably assume that prostate cancer screening is a good thing. Logic would tell you that early detection is likely to reduce deaths from prostate cancer. At present, the NHS does not recommend routine screening for prostate cancer. One reason is that the test is not that specific and there are a significant number of people who end up having a prostate biopsy without having cancer. This can lead to incontinence and other problems. Furthermore the relative effectiveness of the treatments of prostate cancer is still being debated. Given this information I think your husband is being sensible. I suggest you both read http://www.cancerscreening.nhs.uk/

prostate/index.html. Sometimes what seems good and sensible when looked at critically is not necessarily so.

Elaine Douglas

A chartered psychologist who specialises in family and child relationships

Like so many diseases, if cancer is diagnosed in the early stages it can be treated and the prognosis can be much more positive. We are probably aware of the statistics about how many deaths occur each year from various forms of this insidious disease, but we may not necessarily know how many people contract cancer and survive.

I think this could be a case of fearing the unknown. If we don't understand the facts of a situation we can be frightened and worried about what might happen – so we deny that there could be a problem because it's easier and less stressful to do nothing and not to face up to it. I would have a look at the internet and print out the information that is there. There are a number of sites that offer very clear information and are very reassuring about what you can do to prevent it, or if it comes to the worst case scenario how you can manage the situation if there is a diagnosis. Talk to him armed with this information.

Cary Cooper

Professor of Organisational Psychology and Health at Lancaster University

Unfortunately, this is a common response from men – so says my GP! For many men, unless they are experiencing real pain, they are reluctant to visit a GP. Men seem less comfortable facing ill health in general than women. If you notice, it is usually women like you, who tend to get their husband/partner to a GP when they see potential health-related problems. I think you need to find out why he is reluctant. If he is worried about the invasiveness of the test, than you can reassure him that it is a simple blood test. If his worry is that he doesn't want to confront the reality of a positive diagnosis, indicating he may have prostate cancer, then the approach is to convince him that the earlier he is diagnosed the more effective the treatment. A rational approach may not work, however, and although I don't like to use emotional tactics, like "the family don't want to be without a father" type of approach, you may have to use them.

Dr Carol Burniston

Consultant Clinical Child Psychologist

Your husband has a right to make his own decisions about his health, however being in a relationship means that we also need to take into account the situation of our partners and consider their wishes and feelings.

Your husband sounds as if he is fearful of receiving bad news, but you are right to point out that in the event of there being a problem, early treatment is the best way of dealing with it. Perhaps you could discuss a hypothetical situation with him; you decide not to have a mammogram and find a lump some time later which is cancer and cannot be treated, how would he feel?

Your doctor will be able to talk with your husband about the relative risks of not investigating potential problems, but sometimes the counsel of a good friend may have more impact. His best mate may be able to help you in finding out what your husband's concerns are.