My View: Seeds of doubt over husband replacing

It isn't as if we are ever going to have the Crown Green Bowls effect. While other jobs around the house go unnoticed, the state of the small green patch of land around two sides of the house is a constant cause

of concern.

I dread to think how much has been spent over the years on weeding and feeding for the cheeky dandelions to return year after year like a cruel joke.

A couple of years ago, however, he took the unusual step of "getting a man in". Now we get monthly visits from a little man in a white van who shakes some mystery ingredient on to the grass.

Apparently, it has never been greener or more weed-free. I have to say I have not been quite so bowled over by the effects and I am also rather concerned how many nitrates might be being spread over the patch of grass which now gives constant pleasure.

And it seems my other half is not alone in his endless search for the perfect lawn.

Sick of weeds and possibly mowing, soaring numbers of people are replacing their patchy lawns with artificial turf, which requires no mowing, no maintenance and can last for up to five years without fading. The synthetic surface also claims to provide a soft landing under children's climbing frames and can even cope with dog urine. Although I am not sure what the cat would make of it.

Evergreens, Britain's largest grass supplier, says it is selling about 15,000 square metres of fake turf every week – up 35 per cent on last year. B&Q reports a similar story, having sold the equivalent of five football pitches since it began stocking the product this year.

But the "perfect" lawn comes at a price – 10 per square metre. It even made an appearance at the Chelsea Flower Show this year – although it was only inside a cave as Royal Horticultural Society rules forbid its use as a lawn.

It may never fade or need mowing and there will never be a sign of clover of dandelions, but I just don't believe it will catch on.

There is nothing like the smell of newly mown lawns, unless you are a hay fever sufferer, of course, or the feel of grass between your toes. Imagine the chafed knees of crawling tots who will miss out on hot summers running through the non-PC sprinkler.

And even the green lobby is against them as they are a nightmare for worms and any other ecosystem trying to survive under the plastic turf. The fake grass is definitely not greener.

So despite the endless frustrations of our patch of lawn, I don't see it being replaced any time soon with this evergreen impostor.