Business coach Catherine Stagg-Macey shares top tips on handling hard conversations at work

There are two types of hard conversation at work. The ones everyone knows are hard, such as redundancy and grievances, and the ones that are hard because you fear upsetting someone or causing confrontation, such as if you’re calling them out on unacceptable behaviour or needing to provide difficult feedback.

Research conducted by the Chartered Management Institute found that 57 per cent of respondents said they would do almost anything to avoid a difficult conversation; and 52 per cent said they would even put up with a negative situation at work than have to talk about it.

Our need to stay safe and feel like we belong can feel threatened by hard conversations which is why we tend to avoid them. Add to that the fact that there is usually no formal training in business for how to handle difficult conversations and it can feel daunting.

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Our need to stay safe and feel like we belong can feel threatened by hard conversations which is why we tend to avoid them. Add to that the fact that there is usually no formal training in business for how to handle difficult conversations and it can feel daunting.

Catherine Stagg-Macey offers her expert insight.Catherine Stagg-Macey offers her expert insight.
Catherine Stagg-Macey offers her expert insight.

Handling hard conversations badly in business can have devastating consequences, costing money, reducing productivity, increasing employee turnover, destroying corporate culture and reputation.

However, dealing with hard conversations in a structured, consistent, clear and empathetic way can build respect, loyalty and support a strong cohesive culture.

It will save businesses money on HR and recruitment in the long run if members of staff feel inspired and empowered. It also allows more open conversation that will lead to better morale and overall team dynamic.

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Before you tackle any tough conversation, you need to be really clear about your intention and what you need to get out of the conversation.

Business leaders are notoriously time poor, so having a plan with a workable solution and a specific outcome before entering into a hard conversation is really important.

The specifics ensure you focus on the behaviour rather than the person. There is a big difference in saying ‘you were late to a client meeting on Tuesday’ to saying ‘you are unprofessional’.

Being specific makes things very clear and allows the other person the opportunity to explain and make changes.

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Saying you feel disappointed or let down avoids generalisations and prevents the other person from dismissing what you’re saying because it’s personal to you.

Avoiding preachy and belittling language like ‘that’s not how we do things here’ opens the door to a more rational conversation where you can then be clear about what you expect from the other person.

You can’t have hard conversations digitally. You need to have them in-person. Body language is so important and being together in a room should help you to avoid anything being misconstrued.

A really important point is that business leaders need to also be open to hearing feedback. This is what makes a hard conversation more manageable and should provide a better outcome.

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Enabling employees to feel valued at work is priceless, as well as giving them the opportunity to progress. It also helps business leaders to create a positive workplace that attracts, and retains, great talent. Sometimes the hard conversations can lead to the best results for everyone.

Catherine Stagg-Macey is a business coach and host of podcast Unsaid @ Work

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