Charity highlights heart-breaking Christmas for people with dementia and their families 'robbed' of enjoying festive season

The festive season is becoming increasingly difficult for Derek Brown. Like many of those who have close family members living with dementia, Christmas has changed – and traditions that were once a staple are now out of the question.
By The Newsroom
Published 21st Dec 2023, 11:50 GMT

“One of our family traditions is that I dress up as Santa and give out the presents,” says Derek, of Northallerton, whose wife Margaret has dementia.

“But this past year Margaret’s condition has deteriorated to the point where she won’t be able to open her presents. She can’t really get involved the way she used to. She has become an emotional outsider.”

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Derek says this time of year is becoming more challenging as Margaret’s dementia progresses.

Derek Brown, of Northallerton, has always loved the festive season but says Christmas is becoming increasingly difficult as his wife Margaret’s dementia progresses.Derek Brown, of Northallerton, has always loved the festive season but says Christmas is becoming increasingly difficult as his wife Margaret’s dementia progresses.
Derek Brown, of Northallerton, has always loved the festive season but says Christmas is becoming increasingly difficult as his wife Margaret’s dementia progresses.

“She was diagnosed in 2018, so things started to change after that,” he says. “One of the biggest changes is that we would always book holidays before and after Christmas. We loved visiting Majorca at this time of year.

“But since the diagnosis trips abroad have been out of the question. It just isn’t practical. We have carers coming in now and Margaret is in a wheelchair.

“Even little things like decorating the tree together is no longer possible. That was something we always enjoyed doing as a couple, but dementia has stolen that from us.”

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Derek is not alone in how he feels. A recent survey from Alzheimer’s Society found 65 per cent of carers said dementia had “robbed” them of a carefree and joyful festive season.

It found that since 2022, one third of people with dementia feel cut off, unable to visit loved ones, while one in four are no longer able to take part in any Christmas activities and a quarter no longer recognise family or friends. One in five are unable to hold a conversation with loved ones.

The charity also reports that caring for a loved one with dementia at Christmas is taking its toll on carers. Of the dementia carers surveyed in Yorkshire and Humber, 45 per cent said they felt more emotionally drained and 36 per cent felt more physically exhausted. Fourteen per cent said they were at ‘breaking point’.

The results from the survey lay bare the devastation caused by dementia, highlighting the emotional and physical impact on families at Christmas.

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Kate Lee, chief executive of Alzheimer’s Society said: “One in three people born today will develop dementia in their lifetime. Christmas should be joyful but for many of the 900,000 people living with dementia and their families, their Christmases have changed forever.

"“Too many people are facing dementia alone. We want everyone affected by dementia to know that whoever you are, whatever you’re going through, you can turn to Alzheimer’s Society for help.”

The charity is running a Christmas appeal to support those who turn to its Dementia Support Line for help this festive period. To donate to the campaign, visit alzheimers.org.uk/get-involved/donate/12-days-christmas

Related topics:Alzheimer's SocietyNorthallerton