How former pastry chef is helping others after years of undiagnosed anorexia

“Food was really my life as a pastry chef; until it wasn’t,” she said. “I was baking cakes that I would never eat. It got to the point that I just wanted to run away from food. Anorexia is like that. It makes you feel as if you are in control, but you aren’t. I still have it, but I’m in recovery, and it screams loudest when it’s dying. I’m taking that control back. That’s why it is so important to raise awareness. Any one of any age can develop an eating disorder. Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s one of the bravest things you will ever do.”

Alessandra, from Yarm, first developed an eating disorder at 17. She finally recognised things “weren’t quite right” on a college trip to Rome – where she fell asleep during an audience with the Pope, due to her lack of nutrition. However, she was anxious about seeing a GP as she “didn’t want to be stigmatised” by what she ate. Instead, she tried to solve the issue herself – with unhealthy coping mechanisms.

“Something flipped in my brain at 17 and I’ve had an awful relationship with food and exercise ever since,” she said. “I didn’t think I could have anorexia because I did eat – just not enough. The disorder went undiagnosed for years, until I was 25, when I finally opened up about what was happening.”

Alessandra, now 30, was referred to TEWV’s eating disorders services and spent several months attending the specialist unit at Imperial Avenue in Stockton as an outpatient. “I was told that there was clear evidence of starvation in my blood but, because I’d always been relatively small, people never really thought there was anything wrong,” she said.

Alessandra now works as a peer practitioner for the trust’s rehabilitation and recovery service in Stockton, using her lived experience of eating disorders to help others in the same situation. Although she suffered a relapse last year, she returned to Imperial Avenue and is now battling her way back to healthy living. She acknowledges great challenges still lie ahead.

“Recovery isn’t a straight line, it really isn’t. It is important to take every day as it comes because, as in any form of mental health, every day is different,” she said. “It is about being honest with yourself and others, but also pre-empting possible issues and managing potential triggers. You can’t completely avoid problems; you have to face them. Every day and every week is different. You have to be a bit of a chameleon and adapt. I’ve done it once, and I’m determined to succeed again. Anorexia is not going to ruin my life. That is why I do the job I do. I want to help people help themselves. It is all about changing your mindset to change your life – not changing your body.”