Sky boss Sarah opens up on embracing childfree life after pain of multiple miscarriages

While she has previously posted on LinkedIn about her experiences with husband Matt of both trying for a baby and then ultimately deciding last year on a life without children, it was the first time she has spoken in public about it.

She was inspired to do the talk for a number of reasons – firstly to highlight the need for companies to improve their policies around miscarriage, secondly by the positive reaction to her previous social media posts and thirdly as a result of her own experience of listening to a senior boss at Sky giving a talk about her IVF journey and its impact on her career journey.

As someone who wavered over applying for more senior jobs when she was trying to get pregnant, Baker wants to spread the message that women’s careers should not be held back by such issues.

At the start of what transpires to be both a very moving but also often surprisingly funny talk, Baker tells the audience that she tends to “lean quite heavily on humour” as a way of dealing with challenging situations.

"I’m on my second marriage. I split up with first husband because I wanted children and he didn’t. I actually met my now husband as I was going through the divorce... because I’m efficient,” she goes onto explain, deadpan.

"On our second date we had to have a really awkward conversation where I said ‘I know we have just met but I want babies quite soon’ because I was 35 at the time and the clock was ticking. I said, ‘If that’s not something you want, let’s call it a day because I need to move on’.”

With the pair both wanting children, when they started trying for a baby she soon became an expert in ovulation cycles.

“For any woman that has tried to have a baby and it has taken more than a few months you start to get to know this stuff really well. I certainly knew way more about my body when I was trying to have a baby than I ever knew before.

"It is month after month of you ovulate and then have what they call ‘the two week wait’. It is quite an emotional upheaval every single month you repeat of the hope then loss of hope.”

After a year of trying, Baker became pregnant for the first time.

"It was so exciting as it had been so long. In those first few weeks we really started planning this whole life ahead of us, talking about names and maternity and paternity leave and the cost of a pram.

"About a month later I started bleeding and a doctor said it is likely you are miscarrying. That level of grief is something I had never experienced before.

"It was the loss of something I’ve never actually had and a future that isn’t now going to happen. That was really hard.”

She became pregnant for a second time a year later but an early private scan showed no heartbeat.

A third miscarriage occurred around 12 months later and around the time she became pregnant and then miscarried on a fourth occasion, Sarah and Matt decided enough was enough.

"This time I wasn’t excited any more when I got pregnant. I knew what was going to happen. We made the decision to stop trying and move on with our lives.

"The way I felt when we made the decision to stop trying was incredible. I was so relieved and so happy and felt this huge pressure had been lifted.

"The funny thing is when you talk to people and explained, people would go ‘Ahh’ in a sympathetic voice. Actually the correct response is ‘Good for you’.

"One of the ways we did it as a couple was plan our lives without children and start doing some of the stuff we had been putting on hold. We had been in limbo for quite a long time.

"We are going to try and retire earlier than normal and go travelling more – all the stuff that we wouldn’t have been able to do previously that I’m really excited about.

"It is quite a sad story but not a sad ending.

"In a parallel universe if it had worked out, I’m sure we would have been very happy and it would have been lovely. But that doesn’t mean this life isn’t a good one.”

Speaking to The Yorkshire Post following her talk, Baker says she is amazed by the reaction it got with one male audience member coming up to her and starting crying.

She says the reaction to her LinkedIn post about deciding to stop trying for a baby took her aback in the response she received.

"I was really surprised by the reaction it got,” she reflects.

"The number of people that would comment and I would meet people at events afterwards who would say ‘I’ve read your post and something similar happened to me, thank you so much for sharing’.

"I was surprised at the number of people who felt like they needed to hear it.”

Sarah, who recently enjoyed a holiday in the Maldives with husband Matt, says people they know are becoming increasingly understanding about their decision to be childfree.

"I’m open about my emotions. I was honest about being relieved about it from the beginning but it has taken a little while to convince people I mean it.”