Cancer mother found solace in son’s triumph

IT was a bittersweet moment when tearful father Andrew Bulmer beamed with pride as his youngest son Declan was presented with the rosette he had just won naming him as the country’s young shepherd of the year.

Declan had spent hours after school and weekends training his Texel Cross sheep Daisy and honing his own shepherding skills with the animal on his family’s North Yorkshire farm.

The gifted teenager had competed in agricultural events since age six.

Many summers were spent at agricultural shows with dad Andrew, mum Angela and older brother Arron, so winning the prestigious national title aged 14 in September was the icing on the cake for the family.

Except one vital member was not there to see his triumph. Declan’s devoted mother Angela had died after a two year battle with cancer in July.

“I wish Mum could have been there to see me win but all the time I was in the show ring, I could hear her voice willing me on,” says Declan.

“When I competed, she’d say to me: ‘Always try your best, if you lose congratulate the winner as the next time it might be you.’

“I felt Mum was watching out for me at the finals and I thought about her advice before I entered the ring.”

Declan, a pupil at Malton High School, beat stiff competition from 20 other teenagers from across the UK to win the competition at Newbury in Berkshire.

As Declan was handed the trophy and rosette, it fulfilled a deathbed promise his dad Andrew had made to his wife of 17 years.

On July 10, Declan had won his qualifying round at the Great Yorkshire Show in Harrogate for his deft handling of and ability to control his sheep in various situations.

Andrew, 45, of Amotherby, Malton, watched on that day with the blessing of his cancer-stricken wife Angela, who was laid in bed hours from death but willing herself to live long enough to learn how her youngest son had got on.

“Declan won his heat at 4pm and 20 minutes later, I got a call from the MacMillan nurses caring for Angela at home urging me to get back,” says Andrew.

“I walked into the lounge where she was laid watching the regional news showing Declan winning the title. Angela turned to me and said: ‘That’s brilliant. Promise me you will take Declan to the finals. Give him a hug from me.’

“She closed her eyes and drifted in and out of consciousness.

“It was as if Angela could die peacefully knowing she had seen Declan on his way to success,” recalls Andrew.

“She loved going to the shows and had packed him off that week all spruced up in his white shirt and tie and white coat he always wears when showing his sheep.”

Declan came back home and spent a final few hours bidding his beloved mum goodbye and a final cuddle before she died peacefully at 7am the next day aged 44 from stomach cancer.

She’d had the illness for two years, knowing for some months it was incurable, but she told no one apart from Andrew and two friends.

“Angela hated fuss and didn’t want people feeling sorry for her,” says Andrew. “When she was told she had stomach cancer, she turned to me and said: ‘I’ve got about two years.’

“The reason she knew that was because her sister Susan had died 10 years earlier from the same cancer and she lived for two years after diagnosis.”

Angela underwent eight chemotherapy sessions and five courses of radiotherapy. “She never said: ‘Why me?’ She smiled through it all and even losing her hair didn’t bother her.

“If we were at a party and it was hot, she’d whip her wig off and plonk it on a table.”

After 18 months of battling cancer, Angela was told the cancer was incurable and at the end of June that she had just eight to 10 days to live. Andrew had to break the devastating news to Declan and Arron, 22.

“They coped as well as they could. I think the competitions have given Declan something to focus on,” says Andrew.

“Angela insisted life go on as normal.

“So she put on a smile and waved us all off as she insisted we go to the Yorkshire Show and ensured Declan looked the bees knees for his qualifying round.”

The devoted mum even planned her own funeral, attended by more than 350 people.

She’d left Andrew written instructions that people should wear bright colours. Angela chose songs from Abba’s Mamma Mia and Emile Sande’s Clown to be played at the church service.

She named her pall bearers and what food should be served at the wake.

“Eggs sandwiches were her favourite and she insisted on those – along with pork pies and cake,” says Andrew.

“We’d listen to Clown as we travelled to hospital for treatment. The words were so poignant to her.”

Andrew, who farms sheep and crops at his 65-acre farm in North Yorkshire, says Declan got his love of animals from Angela and entered his first show aged just six.

“She worked on the farm and would bring any vulnerable lambs into the kitchen to care for them,” he recalls.

At the end of September, Andrew, his sons and 30 family and friends travelled to the cliffs at Filey, North Yorks, a favourite beauty spot for the Bulmers which they visited twice yearly.

There, they spread Angela’s ashes, with Declan watching on – wearing his white shirt, tie, coat and his rosette with pride.

Borrowed sheep add extra pressure

Declan Bulmer’s success being crowned young shepherd of the year was even more remarkable because he worked with a borrowed sheep for the final. Despite working with Daisy for three years, honing his shepherding skills, the national competition in Berkshire was too far for the animal to travel so they arranged to borrow a friend’s sheep.

His dad Andrew explains: “It was a Southdown breed – Declan had never worked with him so it’s a bit like a show jumper using a new horse for an event. When the judges asked him how long he’d work with this one, he told them he hadn’t and had borrowed it for the day.

“He got down to the last 10, I thought that’s good enough but when the judge declared him winner of the young shepherd of the year aged 13 – 16 senior championship, I burst into tears.”

Declan modestly says: “I couldn’t believe it when I won, especially since I wasn’t working with my usual sheep. Mum would have been so proud. I won it for her.”