Carers’ labours of love need support

Lindsay Oldham’s husband Bob suffered crippling depression and anxiety for 14 years before he was also diagnosed with dementia in 2005.

Bob’s condition was so severe that Lindsay, 57, gave up working as a retail assistant at Meadowhall to care for him full-time until he died in January last year aged 89. “Bob had his first bout of depression in 1990 and soon started to show signs that something else was wrong, but we didn’t know what. He was a keen fisherman and a massive cricket and Huddersfield Town fan, but he gradually lost interest in everything he loved. I was working at the time and would often come home to find him still asleep and his food untouched. When he was anxious there was nothing I could really do other than keep him occupied cooking, gardening or walking.”

Bob was initially referred to the Northern General Hospital in 1998 for treatment and was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2005 following numerous hospital stays. Bob was eventually taken to Grenoside Grange Hospital, Sheffield, a short-stay specialist assessment unit which is run by Sheffield Health and Social Care NHS Foundation Trust (SHSC) and specialises in treating people with dementia.

Lindsay added: “The worst part for me as his carer was the fact he couldn’t swallow and he started to lose weight. I would take him home-made pureed food, such as his favourite lamb broth and tomato soup, which was comforting for me because I felt that I was helping nourish him and provide a taste of home. I still classed myself as a carer even when Bob was living at Grenoside Grange. As well as cooking for him, I still did his washing so that the familiar smell reminded him of home.

“My role as carer also entailed keeping Bob positive, which was often draining because I had to remain upbeat too. I also found dealing with other people who were not au fait with dementia draining too because people would often assume dementia is just a case of forgetting, which was hurtful.

“Bob had always been a lovable gentleman. Even towards the end he was very spirited. I could tell when he was up to mischief because he had a glint in his eye,” Lindsay, of High Green, Sheffield, said. She is now a carer governor at SHSC. There are currently 518,211 carers in Yorkshire and the Humber, many of which will be experiencing similar feelings to Lindsay. One of the main aims of Carers’ Week is to highlight the work carers do.

To make life a little easier, Lindsay says that carers would appreciate the opportunity for respite to recharge their batteries, or access to a befriending service to talk through difficult times and celebrate the breakthroughs.

“I found it very difficult to switch off and take time out for myself,” Lindsay said.

“Life as a carer is rewarding, but you don’t always realise it at the time. I don’t think there is enough support for carers and I think more respite and an out-of-hours service would alleviate the stress, isolation and worry that carers feel.

“It’s important that carers are offered time to themselves, whether it’s an hour or a day. Carers don’t actually expect a lot.”

As a carer governor at SHSC, Lindsay is now helping SHSC to look at ways it can help carers support their loved ones more easily.

Mia Bajin, patient and public involvement manager for SHSC, said: “The Trust believes that service users and carers should be at the heart of their own decision-making and should be involved in decisions that will affect their lives.”

* Visit www.carersweek.org for more information about Carers Week 2011.

WORRYING TIMES AS CUTS LOOM

More than 80 per cent of unpaid carers are worried about cuts to services, according to new research for Carers Week 2011. Almost half don’t know how they will cope as the axe falls on some of the vital support they rely on. When people are forced onto benefits they find that Carer’s Allowance is the lowest benefit of its kind. The Carers Week research shows that two-thirds of carers are surprised at how little help they get from the government. Actress Dame Judi Dench cared for her husband Michael who had lung cancer. He died in January 2001. “As someone with experience of caring for a loved one, I am happy to offer my support to Carers Week. Three in five people will be an unpaid carer at some point in their lives and many of them sacrifice everything to save our economy £119bn every year.”

Carers Week 2011 (June 13 to 19) celebrates the contribution that carers make to the lives of others.