Diplomatic relations – the politics of sibling rivalry

It was David who was the first to show his hand in the race to be Labour leader. Inevitably, the former Foreign Secretary had barely got to the bottom of his declaration announcement, when someone asked: "What about Ed?"

With the kind of utter sincerity only politicians can muster, he said that should his brother also decide to stand for the top job, it would be a fair fight.

Brotherly love, he insisted, was stronger than politics. However, he did admit his mother would no doubt be viewing the prospect with a mixture of "pride and headscratching".

Since then Ed, similarly convinced the contest won't drive a wedge between them, has thrown his own hat into the ring. As the leadership campaign gets underway, all focus has been on the brotherly rivals, with Ed Balls looking increasingly like the forgotten middle child.

Even at this early stage it seems unlikely the Miliband double act is unlikely to turn into politics' answer to Oasis's feuding Gallagher brothers, but the real test of their relationship could yet come after the winner has been declared in September when one brother could be in charge of shuffling the other out of a key shadow cabinet position. Toys could well be thrown out of prams and Edward Whittle knows first hand the occasional pitfalls of working with siblings.

Along with his sister Laura and younger brother Daniel, Edward grew up in the family business. His father Graham took over Whitby Seafoods in 1985 and the three were involved from the earliest age.

"The business was something that was discussed at the breakfast table," says Edward, now 31. "At weekends or during the school holidays we worked on the shop floor washing fish boxes and sorting the scampi. I think my father thought it was important to get us while we were young. We all knew he wanted us to become more involved as we got older, but there was never any real pressure to follow in his footsteps."

After university, the three siblings did go their separate ways. Eldest child Laura went to work for McCain Foods, Edward continued in the seafood industry, but secured a contract in Germany and Daniel ended up carving out a career in the property sector. However, one by one they all returned to Whitby and to the family firm.

"When I came back seven years ago, Laura had already been working there for five years," says Edward. "Daniel joined us two years ago and that was a bit of a difficult time.

"As siblings you have to be very conscious that you behave in a certain way in front of staff, you can't react to each other as you might do at home. When Daniel came on board, he was reporting directly to me, which wasn't easy for either of us.

"There was one day, quite early on, when we did have a big stand-up row. It shouldn't have happened and we both realised that we had to sort out our differences there and then.

"You can do that as brothers, you can speak more honestly than perhaps you would to another colleague and things aren't allowed to bubble under. With the three of us, nothing is hidden or brushed under the carpet and while that may mean you are a bit more blunt than you would be with other people, no one holds any grudges and problems are aired as soon as they arise. Also, working in a family company means we have the luxury of our mother and father around to mediate."

Despite the odd disagreements, Edward says working together has brought his already close family even closer. They not only work together, but socialise and go on holiday en masse. Daniel has also recently celebrated the arrival of his first child, so the next generation of Whittles are also being lined up.

"We all work in different departments, but I guess knowing we're related may make some of the staff a bit more cautious about being critical of something one of us does," adds Edward.

"But in Whitby and in the seafood industry in particular, there are a lot of family-run firms, so I think, or at least I hope, most just see it as the norm. I know for some families it wouldn't work, but the three of us have always got along together.

"Everyone needs a break from their family at some point, but to be honest I feel really lucky to have them around."

The Whittles do their best to separate business from leisure. It's not quite so easy for Grace and Alice Walker.

The 23-year-old twins still live at the family home in Myton-on-Swale, near York, and with both determined to excel as competitive showjumpers, the sibling rivalry is intense.

"We are both really competitive, we need to be to do what we do," admits Grace.

"We often compete in the same tournaments and if Alice has ridden out first and got a good time then it makes me even more nervous waiting for my ride to come. It's never great if one of us does badly and the other one does well, but it does make you more determined to go out and ride better then next time. People often ask how our parents react. Of course, they want us both to win, but they don't temper their celebrations if one of us does badly. I think that's probably a healthy attitude.

"When we're riding we are rivals, but after the competition we are just sisters."

In fact, they are so close, that when Alice went travelling in Australia last year, Grace moved down to live with their elder sister, Rebecca, and showjumping brother-in-law Guy Williams in Kent. As soon

as she returned, Grace headed back north. "I missed having her around as a friend, but I also missed her advice," adds Grace. "We train together and there are times when Alice will say, 'You should try doing it this way' or 'You're riding the horse all wrong'. Of course, the first reaction is, 'How come you're such an expert?', but as Alice always says, 'It's because I can see what you're doing and you can't'. She's completely right, although sometimes that can be a little difficult to admit."

Sibling rivalry has inspired great drama and literature, from

Shakespeare's King Lear to John Steinbeck's East of Eden. At Sheffield's Crucible Theatre, Nigel Harman and John Light are currently starring in True West, Sam Shepard's play of two warring brothers and, when Wimbledon begins next month, another chapter will be added to the Williams sisters' ongoing battle for tennis supremacy.

In its most extreme form it can divide families, but most experts agree a little familial competitiveness is no bad thing.

"The competition between siblings starts as soon as the second child is born," says psychotherapist Garrett Coan.

"It's human nature for one sibling to feel competitive and envious of another. Rivalry is a normal part of growing up and a moderate spirit of competition can be a positive and productive attribute in schools and business.

"However, when occasional fighting becomes a constant series of

arguments, that's when you have a problem.

"Unfortunately, many parents think if they ignore it, the situation will go away. Sadly, it doesn't and sometimes they can even make the situation worse.

"When siblings are very young, parents should encourage them to take part in activities they really enjoy rather than forcing them to do things together and they should definitely avoid taking sides.

"Often in families, one child is better behaved than another, but making comparisons doesn't do any good and generally as they grow up the differences will even out. In the right amounts, sibling rivalry also helps children grow-up into well-rounded adults who are not only good communicators, but also good listeners."

For the Miliband brothers, hoping to build a new party from the pieces of New Labour, that will be music to their ears.