Apathy and indifference make the world an intolerable place to live, that’s why we need to revive our sense of community - Daxa Patel

I was recently interviewed by Simon Treen for the Working Life Podcast, his goal is to interview 1,000 people from Leeds so that they can share their insights on work and life. I felt quite honoured to have been asked and even if it is heard by one person if it makes a tiny difference to them, together we have achieved something.

That to some extent sums up life, we can all do our bit to lift one another without a great deal of effort.

My business as a Leadership Coach requires me to constantly learn new ways of taming the mind, as it is usually the same old thoughts and patterns in our behaviours that often get us stuck.

I was reading this book, the Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard and he talks about how we can inspire greatness. I remember a few years back I attended a young man’s 40th birthday party.

During his speech he mentioned how when he was at school my dad subscribed to the Sunday Independent newspaper for him for a year so he could broaden his horizons.

Now, I didn’t even know about this but even after all this time this young man remembered this gesture and what an impact it had on him. I was naturally proud of my dad, but it was typical of my father. I know of many instances where he did something expecting nothing back in return.

Coming back to inspiring greatness, this quote says it all: “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”- Albert Schweitzer.

Apathy, indifference along with lack of good leadership without vision can make our world intolerable to live in but what is our role? We are gardeners sent here to plant a seed which may flourish way after we have gone but others will benefit from the shade of say an oak tree.

As Burchard says “each of us serves as a living example to others.” Let us not forget that. Growing up, my dad would often say to me remember whether you like it or not, you are a representative of two cultures, and I am, and I am also proud of that fact, but with that comes a responsibility to ensure that those who see me as a shopkeeper’s daughter will also see that I am Yorkshire lass. Sometimes, this is a balancing act so when someone says go back to where I came from, I just smile and say, okay I will go back to Bradford, which is where I was born.

How we interact with others leaves an impression, it can be a glow of kindness or selfishness. There is trouble in the world and it is heartbreaking to witness but the world has a resilient side which we must not forget. During the pandemic while the tragedy was unfolding, we also witnessed unimaginable acts of kindness from strangers. The volunteers delivering shopping to those shielding and the neighbours offering to lend a hand, suddenly we discovered we have a community. When I was growing up there was a community and now, we need to revive it. In June 2022 during our late Queen’s platinum jubilee and I was able to invite my neighbours to a party in our drive. That and having a big German Shepherd has given me a new perspective, and appreciation on what it means to feel a sense of belonging. We cannot belong if we don’t share our heart.

Though we are helpless to change the terrible troubles unfolding in our world we can change our immediate world. The next time you go for a walk in your neighbourhood, see if there is a garden that is overgrown, it might belong to an elderly neighbour who is no longer able to tend to it, do an act of kindness and ask permission to tidy it. Forget how the house owner will feel, I bet you will feel a million pounds afterwards.

The joy of buying a new IPad will evaporate quickly but the joy of having done something good for nothing in return will be more meaningful.

The other morning while coming back from our dog walk, we saw an elderly frail gentleman with a walking stick. He was walking towards his front door. In one hand he had his front door keys and the other hand was trying to lift the walking stick. It was a struggle. We stopped at a distance. My dog was gracious and calm so I was able to pick the stick up for him. No words were said but our eyes connected. A very tiny act.

Now all of you must do this all the time and I thank you for those acts of kindness. We don’t need to be thanked, I know, because we just want to be useful.

We have the power to make a difference so let us make the right choice to do the right thing and do what is within our gift.

Daxa Manhar Patel is a leadership coach, author and solicitor (non-practising).