Clare Teal: The adventures of Alan, fighting fit and well-groomed

I awoke early to the sound of Alan the dog being sick. Having got to bed just a few hours earlier it took me a while to work out what on earth the noise could be. He showed no interest in his morning biscuit or anything else for that matter then fell into a worryingly deep sleep, all hot and floppy.

Worried we took him to the vet for the second time in a week. Last Tuesday Muddy discovered a small red lump under Alan’s chin which has since almost doubled in size, the vet gave us some cream but he hasn’t been himself – Alan not the vet – also there’s a chance the missing sofa tassle may be responsible for his slightly under the weather feeling.

So yesterday I lovingly carried our floppy sad puppy into the waiting room where, on seeing an Airedale terrier, he woke up, tail wagging like it might come off, barking for England.

Funnily enough he stopped barking when the vet gave him a jab of antibiotics. They are hoping the lump is a histiocytoma, a benign skin tumour usually seen in young dogs that should hopefully heal itself within a few months, she did a biopsy to be on the safe side.

Because he’d been sick Holly the vet gave him another shot of something tummy related, and prescribed a green medicine. It came with an oral syringe. Now I’m sure many of you are already chuckling knowingly to yourselves reliving your own experiences of trying to get smelly green sticky medicine down a reluctant pooch. It took two of us at least twenty minutes to express the syringe and I think most of it went on my jeans.

The next gripping instalment of The Adventures of Alan took place this afternoon when Soggy Doggy, the mobile dog groomers pulled up. After yesterday’s ordeal we were releaved to see he bonded instantly with Linda, or the ham lady as she’s known in some circles – she advises owners to refrain from giving their dogs ham as a treat unless she’s there. This way the dogs are always pleased to see her.

Somebody else’s dog has just emerged from her van after nearly two hours. This de-fluffed Alan is at least three sizes smaller. On the positive side the tail is still wagging and he can see again.