Clare Teal: Hey ho, Beryl comes clean and finds new life on the road

A few months earlier, we thought we were going to have to replace her, but no, good old Beryl has pulled through and now feels like a new woman.

Mind you, I’m not surprised – virtually every bit of her has been rebuilt or replaced over the last three years.

The following day she was going in for her 160,000-mile service, quite an occasion for an old broad.

In order to uphold Beryl’s dignity, we thought the least we could do was put her through the car wash, and Abergavenny seemed as good a place as any.

We gave her the works – wheels, undercarriage and all. She emerged through the spinny chamois leather things looking all shiny and fab.

The next morning, we drove Beryl over to the garage and arranged to pick her up at 11.30. We stressed the importance of letting us know if there was any change to the time, as we had to be in Birmingham at 2pm – me to record the radio shows and Muddy to buy me something to wear for our appearance on this Friday’s This Morning with lovely Eamonn and Ruth.

“If you can’t do it by 11.30, just let us know and we’ll go on the train.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll have your car ready on time, laydeeez.”

Muddy and Beryl got back at 12.41pm. It was by now too late to catch the train.

“Why didn’t they call us?”

“They said they didn’t know why they hadn’t called us?

“They were very apologetic though, so much so that they’ve washed the car for us.”

Beryl fairly blinded the oncoming traffic, such was her double-buffed lustre as we whizzed up the M5.

Once in the studio, producer Bob announced that after 389 years, he’d commissioned a new sig tune for Big Band Special. It only took an hour to get the opening link to sit within the time frame of the music.

Clare Teal’s new album, Hey Ho, is released on Monday.