Gervase Phinn: Mind your Ps and Qs

"You should know," he wrote, "that Bettys should have an apostrophe to denote possession. It is a simple rule. I should have thought that you would have known this." Actually, it is not that simple. Bettys is the company's name and does not, in fact, have an apostrophe. It's the same with Barclays Bank.

There is no rule in English with regards to possessive apostrophes in place names. The cricket ground was named after Sir Thomas Lord so should be Lord's. The chain of coffee houses is named after one person – a character in Moby Dick – so should be Starbuck's but the company prefers Starbucks. When and where not to use the apostrophe is a contentious issue. I once observed a lesson where the teacher was endeavouring to explain the rules to a group of exceptionally bright pupils.

"In the singular," he said, "the apostrophe appears before the letter s, and in the plural after the letter s when the plural ends in the letter s and before the letter s when the plural does not end in the letter s. It is quite simple. It is only used to show possession or omission." "Excuse me, sir," asked a pupil, "What about in this sentence: 'The word 'Mississippi' contains four i's and four s's but only two p's.' Surely apostrophes are needed here; otherwise the reader will be left very confused." "Yes, indeed," replied the

teacher. "Whether the apostrophe should be used to denote the plural of a word that does not ordinarily make a plural depends on whether the plural is easily recognisable as such. Unless the reader needs assistance in understanding, which is the case with your example, one should not use the apostrophe." "But didn't you just say, sir, that the apostrophe is only used to denote possession or omission?" enquired the boy.

The teacher sighed. I could see he wished he had never entered this minefield. "Yes, I did, but this is an exception. It is clearly justifiable with single letters as in your Mississippi sentence, or in mine, 'Well-behaved, polite and attentive students watch their Ps and Qs.' Does that clarify the matter for you?" "Oh yes, sir," replied the boy, smiling. "Thank you, sir. But in the sentence, 'The Government is keeping to its manifesto', there is no apostrophe in the

word 'its'." "That is correct," said the teacher. "All pronouns dispense with the apostrophe in their possessive case –'hers', 'yours', 'theirs', 'ours' and 'its'." "What about the pronoun 'one' then, sir?" asked the boy. "Surely an apostrophe is needed in the sentence: 'One is taking one's time in explaining oneself'."

The teacher eyed the boy momentarily, wondering if he were being impertinent. "That is the one exception," he replied in a dismissive manner. "It is all very confusing, sir," sighed the boy. "It's quite simple," said the teacher, "if you take the time to learn the rules." "Not that simple, sir," continued the boy. "Is it not the case that in Shakespeare's time it was quite common to find plural nouns with apostrophes?" "I think I can hear the bell," said the teacher, looking mightily relieved.

YP MAG 10/7/10