Gervase Phinn Signs of the times

I once did a book signing at a large bookshop in Birmingham. I arrived to find a long line of people outside, snaking its way into the distance. My delight at such a large queue awaiting my arrival soon disappeared when I was told by the store manager that they were waiting to see Jordan. "There are a couple of elderly ladies for you," he told me, "at the back of the shop."

I have just finished my last book-signing tour and have to say that I never get more than a few interested people coming to meet me but I enjoy the experience and do spend time chatting to them. It's the one opportunity I get to meet my readers and if they have a book dedicated then I know that person wants the book.

I do not, of course, have all the attendant problems of the celebrities, those big names in show business or former politicians with controversial pasts who agree to sign copies of their books. It must be very daunting for them. X-Factor winner Leona Lewis was punched by a man while she signed books at an event last year, and Madeline Albright, former US Secretary of State under Bill Clinton's administration, was carrying out a signing in Oxford in 2007 when a man approached her desk and spat fake blood over it. I think Tony Blair may be in for a rough ride when he appears at the store in Piccadilly, London, on September 8 to sign copies of his memoir.

"We are working to ensure as many people as possible get to meet Mr Blair," said a spokesman for Waterstone's. In order to do this, people attending the book signing will be subject to a list of strict instructions as to what they can and cannot do. They won't be able to ask for a personal dedication to be written in the book they have just bought, nor will a photograph be possible. In fact, the only proof they will have of being in the same room as the writer is the autograph, scribbled down as they are hurried past the desk. Those planning to attend have been "strongly discouraged" from bringing any bags, backpacks or briefcases along. All purses and mobile phones will also have to be handed in. Those who purchase Mr Blair's memoirs will receive a wristband which entitles them to queue to have their book autographed by the former Prime Minister.

Mr Blair is likely to be there for a while. When Bill Clinton came to London in 2004 to do his book signing, there were 1,000 people who showed up at the store. If 500 turned up for Mr Blair, and he spent 30 seconds with each, then he could be there for four hours.

I have had some interesting encounters at book signing events. I signed books along with Ashley Jackson at a Christmas literary lunch. Ashley did a little sketch in the front on each book brought to him for dedicating. One woman on arriving at my table asked if I would do the same.

"I'm not an artist," I informed her.

She looked put out. "Well, Ashley Jackson's done a drawing. Can't you draw a bit of holly and mistletoe?"

After I had obliged, everyone else in the queue demanded the same.

At another event, a man in Leeds stared at me for an inordinate amount of time then at the back of the book where there was a picture of me.

"I'll say one thing," he remarked, "you take a good photograph."

YP MAG 28/8/10