GP Taylor: How I became caught in a web of Facebook addiction

The power of the mobile, laptop and iPad has been a very slow creep. I can remember my first mobile. It was a monster of a brick that only made calls and the occasional text.

This was soon followed by a lumbering PC. A machine that didn’t have Windows and was not even connected to the world wide web.

Fast forward in time to a late March evening a couple of years ago. The Facebook generation is in place. A man sits alone in his room. The light from his iPad shines in his face.

He looks through the profile pictures of an old friend. She is recently married. His eyes flicker over the face of her and her beau. There is something missing from her smile.

In that instance, and quite by chance, the ‘ping’ in his messenger alerts him to a note. There is a new message and it’s from the woman whose face he is looking at.

“Hey… haven’t seen you in a while…”

The man wonders if he should answer. He waits. His fingers key the words.

“Are you happy?” He types quickly anticipating a positive reply.

“No.”

In that short word was an invitation to pursue, a relationship started through the screen of a computer. It was easy. Words typed and messages passed. There was an instant intimacy.

It was a dangerous relationship made simple.

Once upon a time, a lover had to be wooed with warm words via the Royal Mail. That took some time. With the advent of the internet and Facebook, there was no longer a need to wait.

Within weeks, the innocence of the relationship that started late that night had been lost. The darker side of love had two more victims.

I know the story well, that man was me. It was an event that has changed my life. Through the wonder of Facebook, I entered into forbidden territory.

Beyond the pictures of puppies and kittens, there is a price to pay with the use of social media.

Things that in other times were difficult are now made so easy. The lives of other people are open to inspection. Photographs, special moments, rites of passage are exposed to the world through a Facebook timeline.

I find it odd that complete strangers can get a deep and intimate view of another person’s life. There for all the modern-day curtain twitchers are the pictures of our children, our dog and even the food we eat.

Social media is a distraction to take you away from normal life. It breeds contempt for reality.

It is a known fact that social media can cause people to suffer from anxiety.

I was once contacted by a friend 
who complained at the few ‘likes’ he got on one of his posts.

His answer was to post more things in the hope that people liked him. It is validation syndrome at its worse.

Up to 11 per cent of us suffer from some form of technology addiction – and a brain scan study has shown that Facebook affects our brain in a similar way to drugs such as cocaine.

People are becoming addicted to their mobile phones. You see them on buses, in the street and cafes. They stare at the screen as if the world around them does not exist.

There is a fear of missing out, making us want to check every minute the developments of this virtual reality soap opera in which we all star. I, too, am guilty of this.

It was 28 years ago this week when Sir Tim Berners-Lee put forward the idea of the world wide web. He now warns that it is not a safe place. Fake news, propaganda and targeted advertising are a real concern. For me however, the danger runs deeper.

What masquerades as an innocent means of keeping up with friends has a darker side where bullying, manipulation and computer addiction are just beneath the surface.

Yet, last weekend I found an antidote to all of this. Fitted to my phone is an amazing device.

I had never used it before, but on Friday I pressed the off switch and for 24 hours went Facebook-free. It was liberating. You should try it.

GP Taylor is a writer and broadcaster and can be followed via @GPTaylorauthor.