Jayne Dowle: Great value from our priceless grandparents

If you’re thinking that figure can’t be right, consider this. A full-time annual nursery place for a child under two now costs, on average, £11,000. It doesn’t take a maths genius to work out the national bill, or to question why granny and granddad are so often persuaded to step into the breach.

It is clear that paying for every hour of childcare is simply unaffordable for millions of working parents. Private nurseries might well offer fantastic facilities, but in general they are run as competitive businesses. They have to make a profit, their overheads and staff bills are high, and this means that fees have more than doubled in the last 10 years, according to the Daycare Trust and the Family and Parenting Institute. In many cases, these are comparable to those charged by private schools.

Inevitably, nursery care has become a political issue because of this. Nick Clegg is promising a £1,200 tax break for working parents to help mitigate against the cost. This will be welcome, but it doesn’t address the crux; how those fees are actually totted up.

For that, we must turn to the row embroiling the Deputy Prime Minister and the Childcare Minister Liz Truss, who can’t agree on the ratio between nursery workers and children. This argument is so tortuous that by the time any concurrence has been reached fees will have rocketed again anyway. The whole exercise seems futile; nurseries will always charge what they like.

With grandparents, there is no argument about how many children they are responsible for. For the time they spend together, your precious son or daughter is their number one priority. And this offers a peace of mind no money can buy. Although financial considerations are often the driving force behind grandparent-care, it is not just about the money. It is also about the experiences, and yes, the indulgences, that grandparents offer.

Liz Truss has criticised some nurseries for allowing toddlers to run around “with no sense of purpose”, and wants to instigate a regime of more structured activities. Yet any devoted grandparent will tell you that the whole point of being a toddler is that you don’t have to have a sense of purpose; it is all about enjoying the moment, with granny and granddad there to act as audience and collaborators. I’ve seen my taciturn dad, who spent most of my own childhood at work, dressed up as a clown, with a curly wig on his head, dancing round the garden, all in the name of amusing my son and daughter, who spent at least a day a week with their grandparents before they started full-time school.

And although they are now seven and 10-years-old, they still go for tea after school on Fridays, not because I force them to, but because they want to. Growing up with their grandparents has given them so much pleasure, and it is touching to see the bonds that have developed between the generations; Jack talking sport with his granddad, Lizzie trying on granny’s shoes.

Of course, loving grandparents have been around for centuries. However, the modern version, if not always young, then young at heart, is relatively fit and healthy, quite often mobile, with a car, and usually prepared to get down on the floor with the Lego. Quite honestly, we parents don’t know how lucky we are; here are people who offer our children unconditional love, time, freedom, support, a living link with the past, and a reminder that even in the most troubled families, there is someone who cares, a rock for children to cling to, whatever happens.

That is why I say that it is time to give grandparents the recognition they deserve. It is not about the money, although some campaigners do argue that retired grandparents should receive pension credits for the work they do. No, this is about recognising the vital role that grandparents play, and also, it is about appreciating the bigger picture.

This new research found that grandparents now regularly care for 1.6m children, a rise of 35 per cent since 2003, but the next decade will bring a different set of circumstances, namely the rise in the retirement age. Those lucky ones who could retire at 55 or 60 will become workers expected to carry on until they are approaching 70. They won’t be able to provide care for their grandchildren unless employers are prepared to embrace some pretty flexible working practices.

And of course, this will have a knock-on effect on their families. Whether tax breaks for childcare exist or not, many parents will still find the cost of paying for a nursery beyond their means. The long-term implications for household incomes and quality of life are immeasurable. And this, as if you needed any reminder, is just one of the many, many reasons why we should never take grandparents for granted.