Jayne Dowle: Harry’s waiting game as he reaches 30

I think we have come to base our assumptions and prejudices about the monarchy not on the reigning monarch, but through the supporting players. That’s why the milestone birthday of this young man, fourth in line to the throne until the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s second child is born next year, should not go by without pause for reflection.

Think of it like this. The Queen is – and pretty much always has been – beyond reproach. She might appear aloof, but then again, what else should we expect? Prince Charles has had his share of castigation over the years, but assumes a certain level of respect as her direct heir. Prince William, next in line, seems to be determined to live the quietest life possible, preferring the duties of an air ambulance pilot in East Anglia to the spotlight. We don’t judge the Royal Family on this unimpeachable line of succession. We perceive them through a wider lens – in particular through their brothers and sisters.

It was Princess Margaret who dominated the gossip columns as a young woman, and she went on to live a life that was about as hedonistic as it is possible for a Royal to be. It has been the antics of Prince Andrew and then Prince Edward, certainly in the latter’s younger days, which have made people question what the Royal Family is for and why we must fund their fun and games through our taxes.

As such, it is to Prince Harry that we look to as a foil for his older brother’s sober sense of duty. What does he give us in return?

He gives us a young man who above all, wants to do the right thing. His stewardship of the Invictus Games proves that. He has spoken movingly about his direct experience of warfare, and its aftermath. In particular, he seems to feel strongly for wounded and maimed comrades. Perhaps he realises how lucky he is. And also, because he lost his mother when he was 11, he has grown up with first-hand knowledge of the fragility of life. His involvement with this event proved that he is both one of the lads and a natural leader. It’s a tricky combination for a prince of the realm to pull off, yet by all accounts he does it with instinctive compassion.

This is a quality he shares with his mother, the late Diana, Princess of Wales. He also appears to have inherited her easy way with people from all walks of life, and her instant connection with children. This gives an unscripted appeal to his public appearances. He has grown up schooled by an army of assistants and PRs who have attempted to manage his reputation closely.

Yet he will still speak his mind. “Great!” was his reaction when a TV reporter told him that the birth of William and Kate’s second child would put him further down the succession pecking order.

Not so “great” were the leaked photographs from that infamous party in a Las Vegas hotel when he was caught naked playing strip billiards with a group of young women. There was inevitable outrage, but few really condemned Harry himself. For all his courage and bravado, there is still something quite vulnerable about him that reminds us of that young boy following his mother’s coffin.

I’m not being romantic, but I suspect this will change when he finally chooses a wife. His tempestuous relationships and his eye for well-connected blondes are well-documented. I think this rather misses the point though We shouldn’t criticise him for taking his time. Until he establishes a game plan for his future, he does best to wait. Marrying a girl who expects one thing and gets another would be a disaster.

What should that game plan be though? Will a gentlemanly rural existence, doing good work for Army charities and so on, be his lot? Or will he end up leading adventures to the North Pole and Africa? Or something totally unexpected?

He is too far from ever being King for his future to be laid out like a dress suit, but too close to the vague possibility that it could happen for us not to care. Despite his achievements, he continues to beldefined not by a specific post, but by a vacuum.

Prince Harry is an individual, keen to carve his own place in the world. And yet, we should never forget, either, that he is also a member of the Royal Family. How he conducts himself in the coming years will help to determine not only his own future, but their future too.