Modern Dilemmas: Ceaseless quest for perfection can make a mess of your life

Do you give up fairly easily because you didn’t do everything right as planned, missed a few days or couldn’t do what you set out to do for the week? Do you assume you failed because you didn’t do it all perfectly? Where does that belief come from, and is it really the truth? What about what you did do successfully?

Beliefs represent the things you’ve been told over the years and then internalised as your gauge for right and wrong and the rules to live by, but very often they aren’t accurate or what is in your best interests. Fortunately, you can change your beliefs once you know what they are and in what ways they are driving your choices and behaviours.

When it comes to food, fitness and self-care, perfectionism often gets in the way of success. Instead, you can give yourself permission to do your best, learn from what gets in the way of reaching your goals, and make healthy changes that are more realistic for you.

When you stop harshly judging your behaviour, you can more easily assess what is driving your choices and give yourself some compassionate leeway. It is much easier to stay on track, and to bounce back from derailments and indulgences, when you don’t make imperfection the focus.

As you have probably learned, anytime you feel you have failed it is much tougher to resume your healthy and fit habits. Success isn’t about being exact, perfect and doing things just so. It is about setting an intention, doing the best you can, not judging yourself but observing with interest what happened and why, and then learning what works while renewing your intentions based on new insights. The way to do that is to change the rules of perfectionism, where good is good enough and a positive step in the right direction. While you may aim for an A+, be happy with a B and strive to figure out what will help you achieve an A the next time.

One of the biggest issues that some of face today is perfectionism. It holds us back as we fear making mistakes and showing ourselves up. It is good to make an effort and put in your best work, but at the same time if you’re stopping yourself moving forward because things are not quite right, then you are stuck in life.

@happiness coach