Self-service checkouts at supermarkets are a Godsend - supermarkets should keep them: David Behrens

Not all queues are bad. There will be a long one snaking around the corner from the butcher’s on Christmas Eve and people will pass the time wishing each other the compliments of the season and moaning about all the relatives for whom they will have to cook without so much as a thank-you.

I ordered our Christmas bird the other day and was thrown momentarily when the butcher started reeling off questions: “Weight? Name?” Mine or the turkey’s?

But many queues are unnecessary, now we have the technology to do away with them. Unfortunately, technology is something we like even less than queuing.

Perhaps it’s because we’re bamboozled by it. The word is thrown around so often by manufacturers and retailers that it’s been rendered meaningless. Dual-zone technology. Anti-tangle technology. Quantum leap technology. It’s just word spaghetti invented by the marketing department.

Even so, if someone at the airport told you there was a piece of tech that could fast-track you through the customs queue, you’d be drawn to it like a fly to a jam jar. So why is the reverse true at supermarkets?

Self-service checkouts aren’t perfect, I’ll give you that. No-one wants to hear about an unexpected item in the bagging area or be made to wait for an assistant to come and check you’re over 18 when you’re sitting on a mobility scooter.

But if you’ve just popped in for a packet of crisps and a box of Omo they’re a godsend. Why wait behind half a dozen people unloading two warehouses worth of food when you can serve yourself without even breaking step?

Yet public opinion, we’re led to believe, is against them. They pop up on lists of pet hates, somewhere between middle lane drivers and dropping a biscuit in your tea. Social media is awash with people complaining they won’t go back to their local Asda/Tesco/Co-op because of them. And just the other week, the classy Northern supermarket chain of Booths gave in and promised to remove them from all but two of its 28 stores. This, by the way, made headlines around the world.

Why are we so dismissive of self checkouts? Is it because they can’t tell the difference between a pineapple and a potato if they’re not bagged and barcoded? Perhaps we suspect the tills are making pejorative judgements about whether something is unexpected. (“You seem to be buying a lot of cakes for someone your size”.)

But it’s not as if anyone is being forced to use them if they don’t want to. I can’t speak for every branch of every supermarket but when they were introduced at my local Aldi earlier this year no regular checkouts were removed and I was told there were more staff after the changeover than before. So who exactly was losing?

Besides, if you want to see what’s wrong with the big grocers you should be looking at how much you’re paying, not how you’re handing it over. This week saw the revelation that three-quarters of branded suppliers of baby food, baked beans and pet food had pushed up prices faster than their costs had risen. At the same time, discounts were being denied to customers who hadn’t signed up to a loyalty scheme.

The Competition and Markets Authority has launched an inquiry into this and not before time, because it has been obvious for years that this is profiteering by the back door.

“Have you felt the power to lower prices with Clubcard Prices?” asks a current Tesco campaign when what they really mean is, “Have you noticed how much more we charge if you haven’t got a Clubcard?”

Actual indignities like this, as well as imagined ones like tills that spy on you and guess your weight, can only make life harder for supermarket workers who are on the front line in the war against inflation. Physical assaults on them rose by a third last year, prompting Tesco to offer its staff body cameras and demand a law to make abuse of retail workers a specific offence.

People who turn violent, presumably when challenged in the act of shoplifting, are few in number but have a disproportionate impact on certain neighbourhoods – and it’s not those where you’re likely to find a branch of Booths.

So next time you hear someone moan about robots taking over at their local shop, you might want to cast an eye over the clientele before you blame the technology.