The irony behind the Rwanda Bill is the country is gasping for workers - Dr Jason Aldiss

“We introduced the Rwanda Bill to deter vulnerable migrants from making perilous crossings and break the business model of the criminal gangs who exploit them.

“The passing of this legislation will allow us to do that and make it very clear that if you come here illegally, you will not be able to stay. Our focus is to now get flights off the ground, and I am clear that nothing will stand in our way of doing that and saving lives.”

Let’s not mince words, shall we? Illegal immigration is as illegal as we choose to decree it. By the stroke of legislative genius, we have the power to turn desperate souls seeking a new life into 'illegals'. But here’s the rub: Britain is gasping for workers – nurses, vets, farmers, carers – and what do we do? We attempt to ship off the very people who are likely to roll up their sleeves in these sectors.

Our right-wing compatriots, bless their hearts, seem to have taken up a side hustle as inadvertent marketing mavens for the traffickers.

They whip the public into a frenzy, painting migrants as bogeymen, while quietly providing traffickers with a business boom. Supply and demand, they call it. Desperation drives up prices, and the traffickers’ pockets deepen as the English Channel churns with profit.

Irony lurks in the corners of our 'tolerant' isle. The world’s weary travellers trek across continents, lured by tales of British decency and opportunity, only to be met with a ticket to Rwanda. And let’s pause to consider the sales pitch: ‘Come to Britain, and win a surprise tropical getaway – accommodation included!’

If the proposed Rwandan retreats are as safe and snug as promised, one wonders if this will serve as a deterrent or rather an exclusive holiday brochure.

Could it be that our leaders are so visionary, they are offering asylum seekers the chance of a lifetime? An all-expenses-paid relocation to a land with year-round sunshine, bypassing Britain's dreary drizzle? Sign us up! If only the queue at the Home Office weren’t so dreadfully long.

What’s lost in this bureaucratic shuffle is the simple, inconvenient truth: we need people. We crave the energy, skills, and aspirations that newcomers bring. Yet here we are, playing global hot potato with human lives, as if international tag were the sport of the season.

As the world watches, Britain stands at a crossroads between being the beacon of hope it once was, and transforming into a fortress isle, feared and avoided. Do we really aspire to be the latter, a 'no-entry' sign on the cliffs of Dover?

So, to the good folk of this green and pleasant land, a question hangs in the foggy air: is this the Britain we cherish? The answer lies not in the halls of Parliament, but in the fields, hospitals, and hearts of our nation.

Until then, one can only dream of sunny Rwanda. Or, should we say, ‘Britain's tropical backyard’? The irony, it seems, is here to stay.

Dr Jason Aldiss BEM is the former chair of Pudsey Conservative Association.