Dr Amir Khan on arranged marriages, being a television doctor and challenges as a GP

“There was the politeness, the hellos and stuff, but it was very clear from the onset that she was just not interested.” And so it was back to the drawing board.

In the end, Dr Khan did not have an arranged marriage, and has instead found his own partner. But when he was single, he was introduced to several potential partners and he draws from his own experiences, and those of family and friends, in his latest book How (Not) To Have an Arranged Marriage.

The novel, which Dr Khan will discuss at Sheffield’s Off the Shelf Festival of Words this weekend, looks at all aspects of modern arranged marriages.

“Arranged marriages, there’s a bit of contention around them, but modern day arranged marriages are actually all about choice and introductions,” he says.

“The way I think about it is as an option,” he continues. “You might meet someone at work or when you’re out or online but if you don’t, you’ve got this option of saying right well hook me up.

“How different is it to a computer algorithm that tries to match you up with someone based on the details you put in? This is a human being with your best interests at heart trying to find you someone.”

Dr Khan’s book follows three British Asians and their very involved parents through an arranged marriage process that he describes as “heartwarming, hilarious and sometimes disastrous”.

After the success of his first book, an insight into the highs and lows of his life as an NHS GP, he was keen to write something that spoke to his heritage and cultural upbringing.

“Me and my peers are second generation migrants…and we will be the only generation really of people who have grown up here but who also have these values instilled from our parents who grew up over in South Asia…I try to capture that and all the beautiful things that come along with it but also the tricky things as well.

“I wanted to write a book about my culture, about British Asian heritage. The things we do really well in our culture are community, food and weddings.

“Arranged marriage involves a big part of the community coming together to try to match people. There’s lots of awkward moments and comedy involved because you’re meeting someone for the first time and you just don’t know what to say.

“You’re there for such an unusual reason. Normally you’d go on a date casually and see how it goes, but you go into it thinking could I marry you?…And you’re also having all of that witnessed and critiqued by your parents and their parents. It’s just a really funny, bizarre scenario.”

Dr Khan is talking as he drives to a clinic in his practice area of Bradford on another busy day of juggling demands. Fiction writer is the latest addition to his impressive CV, and as well as being the resident doctor for ITV’s Lorraine and Good Morning Britain, he remains a full-time GP working in the city where he was raised.

Looking back now, Dr Khan says he realises that his was a working class family that “didn’t have very much”. But that didn’t matter. After the loss of his father at a young age, he grew up feeling the love of his sisters and head of the clan Mama Khan, a woman who was fiercely determined that her daughters should have equal access to opportunities that any boy would.

Dr Khan actually wanted to be a vet in his teens, but soon realised he was more suited to hanging out with animals than caring for sick ones. So when his mum gently suggested he applied for medical school, following in the footsteps of two of his sisters, that’s what he did.

“It was the right thing. As much as I do love animals and wildlife, I’m a big talker and talking to people is really important to me. I think I’m better suited to managing people than I am animals.”

This is now his 20th year of working in the National Health Service and Dr Khan has been a qualified GP for a good 12 years of that time.

“I’ve worked through the good times and I’m now working through the bad times,” he reflects. Over time, he says the quality of care he can give to patients and the time he can spend looking after them has “eroded away”.

The reasons why are well documented - staffing pressures, patient demands, and funding cuts to name a few.

“I go to work and it’s highly, highly pressured,” he says. “Patients are coming to see me who are more sick, there’s multiple issues, things are more complex. Each one, I have to spend time unpicking it all.

“And when I refer them [to specialists], I know they’re not going to be seen for a long, long time and I know they’ll likely be back to see me in that interim period, potentially getting worse, and that is really sad.

“I also know that there’s a whole group of people out there struggling to get appointments and not being seen and I worry about them too.”

As a doctor who trains GPs, there’s a question he is repeatedly asked. Is general practice worth doing?

“The answer to that is still yes,” he maintains. “Because when it’s you and a patient in the room and the patient feels like you’re listening to them and there’s a management plan in place, there’s nothing better than that...It happens less frequently now because of all the pressures in general practice but it is still there.”

In his first television role in Channel 5’s GPs: Behind Closed Doors, Dr Khan lifted the lid on life inside the consultation rooms at The Ridge Medical Practice where he works.

It was the first time the show spotlighted a surgery in the North of England and it saw Dr Khan win over the hearts of the nation with both his charisma and medical expertise.

It’s not about being popular, however. For Dr Khan, television has proved to be a way to get across health messages “in a really accessible way”.

“I also think having [a doctor] from the North who is genuinely working is really valuable as it can open up conversations about what we’re facing right now and what realistic solutions are…It’s alright saying you can buy this for £100 to improve your symptoms for example. That’s no good to my patients. So having that realistic outlook on what can actually help is what I [feel I offer].”

His prominence also affords Dr Khan a platform through which to champion causes close to his heart.

As president of the RSPB and vice-president of The Wildlife Trusts for example, he works to ensure access for all to green spaces and spreads the word on how being outside with nature is beneficial for both physical and mental health.

“I feel like many of us have become disconnected from nature to the detriment of our health,” he muses. “We need to all have access to green spaces and people who don’t aren’t getting the health benefits of that…It has to be there for everyone.”

Speaking of “being there”, there’s a certain someone who takes precedence for Dr Khan, a woman he always makes time to see, no matter how occupied he otherwise is with campaign work, general practice, writing and TV appearances.

“I do a lot to make sure my mum is happy and that I see her enough,” he says. “When people say ‘can you do this?’...I try and get people to come up here or I try to find work up here [not in London] not just for my convenience but also because I just feel that opportunities should be up here as well…That helps with my time management - and I’ve also got a very understanding fiancée.”

Dr Amir Khan is taking part in an in conversation event as part of Sheffield’s Off the Shelf Festival of Words, at Firth Hall on Sunday, October 15. Visit offtheshelf.org.uk