PMQs sketch: Caretaker Corbyn 'beyond satire' as he misses every open goal

“Well you might not like it but I’m going to read it,” supply teacher Jeremy Corbyn barked at MPs during Prime Minister’s Questions today.

That may as well have been his catchphrase throughout the election, as he turned up at events and professed his manifesto promises, whether voters liked it or not.

Every week that Mr Corbyn stands at the despatch box - and there are six more opportunities at PMQs alone until a new leader is finally put in place - is another easy win for the Government.

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“They’re her words not mine,” Mr Corbyn said as he quoted Claire Perry O’Neill, sacked as boss of COP26, seeming to realise the little weight his own carry nowadays.

Prime Minister's Question. Photo: PAPrime Minister's Question. Photo: PA
Prime Minister's Question. Photo: PA

But despite clearly knowing what Ms O’Neill’s words were, Corbyn failed to actually use any of them, as instead of using the blistering letter she wrote accusing the PM of being untrustworthy, the Labour leader instead fell back on quotes from years old articles to prove Johnson was once in denial about the climate crisis.

While the PM and his office may have behaved in a Trump-like manner this week in their treatment of the media, to stretch the comparison as far as climate denial, to which the US President still subscribes, doesn’t quite land.

This Government has, afterall, promised to drive down emissions and ban sales of non-electric cars.

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There is plenty to pick at in their environmental record though, like the lack of any credible plan to reach those goals. But these details were left untouched by Corbyn.

Prime Minister's Questions. Photo: PAPrime Minister's Questions. Photo: PA
Prime Minister's Questions. Photo: PA

“This is beyond satire,” Johnson laughed, and he was right.

And unfortunately Corbyn and his team’s reluctance to speak to the press, and blame them for the party’s dreadful election defeat, meant any attack lines on press censorship also fell flat.

As so often happened with lame duck Theresa May, when the goal was wide open, Corbyn smashed the ball high and wide into the stands.

In a week when the Government has been slammed by media organisations and over its climate change record, when Corbyn could have truly taken the PM to task, again he goes wide and is left as the one quacking.

It now seems unlikely Johnson will face any real opposition until at least April 4.