'You never move on, you just move forward. I'm still lonely'

Following the funeral, she moved in with her family, but when her daughter Alex was born, she decided to return to the home the couple had bought just a few months before Ian's death.

Most nights, Ruth went to bed in tears and when she couldn't face going upstairs, she would sit in front of the television with a bottle of wine, waiting for sleep to come. She craved the companionship she had lost, but deep in grief she also found it difficult to spend time with others.

"People were surprised that I didn't move home, but the house still smelt of Ian and all his things," she says. "I used to sleep on his side of the bed, but it didn't provide any comfort and I started to panic that I'd die in the night. I left food by Alex's cot and got a neighbour to call in every day.

"Eventually, I did start to feel a little better, but you never move on, you just move forward. I'm still lonely; it never really goes away and I worry what's going to happen to me when Alex leaves home."

Sadly, it seems Ruth's story is not unusual

According to The Lonely Society?, a report published

by the Mental Health Foundation today, modern life is leaving people feeling increasingly isolated.

Statistics show the percentage of one-person households

has risen from six per cent in 1972 to 12 per cent in 2008, the divorce rate has doubled since the 1960s and the number of lone parent households continues to creep up.

With more of us living further away from the families and the communities we grew up in, we may be better off materially, but it seems we are no happier than we were in the past

"Our cities and public spaces are more crowded than they have ever been, but more of us are living alone," says Andrew McCulloch, chief executive of the Mental Health Foundation.

"We live in a society which prides itself on self-reliance. Loneliness sometimes carries a stigma and although many of us experience it at one time or another, it is often overlooked

or dismissed."

The foundation blames the rise in the number suffering from what it terms chronic

loneliness on the gradual dismantling of traditional communities, from the closure of village post office to society's reliance on the internet which makes it easier to avoid meeting anyone face to face.

"Many of us live happily alone and get pleasure and satisfaction from solitude, but loneliness is

a different thing altogether,"

adds Andrew.

"It is inevitable that all of us will experience the feeling of loneliness at one time or another, whether it's a brief pang of being left out of a party or the painful sensation of lacking a close companion. However, if it continues over a long period of time, it makes it harder for us to control our behaviour and habits.

"Lonely middle-aged adults drink more alcohol, have unhealthier diets and take less exercise than the socially contented and once it

becomes chronic, it is very difficult to treat."

Loneliness has traditionally been thought of as a problem which affects the elderly but, according to MHF, in the 21st-century it's an issue which cuts across society regardless of age, race or sex.

Last year, Childline received nearly 10,000 calls from

children saying they felt lonely – an increase of 60 per cent from five years ago. In the worst cases, children become so desperate that they self-harm or even contemplate suicide.

"Some changes are irreversible," says Andrew. "Immigration has reshaped communities all over the world and new technology has transformed the way we interact, work and live. But such changes only emphasise the importance of finding new ways to bring people together, to bridge generational, racial and other divides.

"On an individual level, we can make a difference whether we or someone else feels isolated or not, simply by being a good neighbour or

colleague. Loneliness is all our problem, but we can also all be part of the solution."

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