YP Christmas Appeal: Tragedy of Gareth, a dementia patient at 37

Now the 37-year-old is in a nursing home after his life was torn apart by frontotemporal dementia, a savage and rapidly-advancing form of the disease that has left him already struggling to recognise and communicate with his family.

“When you look into his eyes there seems to be a void, Where once there was a happy, smiling guy looking back at you with fun in his eyes, it’s more of a stare now,” says his father Graham, 61.

His mother Lesley, 63, who lost her own mother to a different form of the condition last year, adds: “It is like with any dementia. It robs you of your life. It’s as if somebody’s taken Gareth’s insides out and left an empty shell.”

Before he became ill, the teaching assistant and keen actor adored family life with his partner Angie, 37, and her children, Adam, 13, Lucy, 11, and Faye, nine, at their home in Doncaster.

“He was in a very loving relationship and he became daddy quite quickly to her children,” says Graham.

“He thoroughly relished the title and everything that came with it.”

Lesley adds: “He was very bubbly, very outgoing, always the life and soul of the party.”

So alarm bells rang when he started to become quiet and withdrawn about three years ago.

Dementia was the last thing anyone expected, however, and it was put down to depression - a more likely explanation in someone so young.

But as his behaviour grew increasingly out of character, his relationship was put under strain and, although he and Angie remained a couple, he moved back in with his parents in Barnsley last February,

“It was only then that we actually noticed there was a major problem,” says Lesley.

“He was still very quiet, very withdrawn. He’d spend most of his time in his bedroom. It was just as if he didn’t want to be around people.”

Lesley remembers really beginning to worry when she caught him staring blankly out of the landing window one day.

“I asked him: ‘What on earth are you doing Gareth?’ And he said: ‘I’m just checking to see if I’m still on planet earth.’ That’s when we began to realise something was drastically wrong.”

Gareth’s behaviour eventually lost him his job and from then on, things went from bad to worse.

He began eating compulsively, piling on eight stones in as many months, among other “silly little things” like peeling his parents’ wallpaper off.

“Looking back now, when you know what he’s got and the signs, you would have known what it was but obviously we didn’t know at that stage,” says Lesley.

By the end of the year, he had become so withdrawn that a psychiatrist suggested it might be more than depression, and in February Gareth was sent for scans that delivered his devastating diagnosis.

“It’s the last thing you expect. You always attach the word dementia to older people. To see it happen to Gareth at his age, we were completely dumbfounded,” says Graham.

Not long afterwards, his condition deteriorated rapidly and he had to be taken into care at Havenfield Lodge in Darfield.

It was only supposed to be a respite stay but once staff had assessed him they advised the family he needed 24/7 care and should remain there.

“As parents we know it’s not the ideal situation, having your son in care. But the physical side of looking after Gareth is simply beyond us now,” says Graham.

While he is being well-looked after, the family know they have to steel themselves for the worst as the disease advances.

“He looks more vacant now, as if there’s even less behind those eyes than there was,” says Lesley.

“It will come when you’ll just go one day and he’ll not know who you are at all.

“I went one day to give him a hug and a kiss and he looked at me as if to say: ‘Who are you?’

“We know this point is coming but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

He already struggles to recognise his father, which it has been suggested could be due to their close resemblance.

“You can almost imagine the cogs whirring,” he says.

“I find that very upsetting. As parents it’s very, very hard to watch what’s happening to him.

“There are times when we sit quietly and there are tears. He will always be our son.”

Angie is also struggling, they added, but is still part of Gareth’s life and visits with her children.

It has also been tough for Gareth’s sister Sarah, 33, and brother Matthew, 28, who had to have genetic tests to see if they were at risk of the disease, which can be hereditary. Fortunately both were given the all-clear.

Doctors can not tell the family how long they have left with Gareth but his prognosis is bleak.

“He will probably lose his speech and he’ll then lose his ability to swallow, which is a problem with feeding, but I don’t think he will have a very long lifespan with it,” says Lesley.

“We don’t really know how long he’s got, we just make the most of the time we’ve got.”

How you can help region’s sufferers

• Donate to the appeal

The auction is not the only way you can help raise money to support people with dementia in the region.

You can also make a donation to the Yorkshire Post Christmas appeal. All money raised will go to help and support those with the condition in our region.

If you would like to help send a cheque to the Alzheimer’s Society, Yorkshire Post Christmas appeal, Yorkshire Post, No 1 Leeds, 26 Whitehall Road, Leeds, LS12 1BE

If you are a UK taxpayer, please consider enclosing a Gift Aid form with your donation.

This makes every £1 you give worth an extra 25p at no cost to you by allowing the charity to claim back the basic rate tax on each donation.

Forms can be downloaded here and printed.

• Bid in our charity auction

Over the coming weeks, readers will have the chance to bid on a clutch of exclusive Christmas gifts and experiences through our online charity auction.

The first lots will be announced in full next Saturday, when you will be able to bid by visiting this page and following the links through to eBay.