Barnsley 0 Sheffield Wednesday 1 AET: Josh Windass's brilliant winning goal cruel on Reds but Owls are going up

“You didn't deserve that” said Barry Bannan as he shook hands at full-time in the League One play-off final and he was absolutely right.

The Owls did what their season has been all about – just enough, and no more – scraping past their local rivals 1-0 with a diving header in the third added minute of stoppage time in extra-time.

For Barnsley it was what-might-have-beens – two shots against the woodwork and a golden chance missed by Luca Connell despite more than 70 minutes a man short after a red card for Adam Phillips.

As Connell will no doubt be ruing all summer, life is about taking opportunities when they come along and Windass – below his own high standards for the previous 120 minutes – did that when he rose, or rather dived to the occasion.

With a shoot-out looming and penalty-taker Bannan off with cramp, he produced a header to compare with the stunning long-range winner his watching dad Dean scored for Hull City in the 2008 Championship final.

Wednesday’s delirium was heavily laced with relief having thought they had won the game through Will Vaulks minutes earlier. What it lacked in quality, it certainly made up for in excitement.

Despite their nearly moments, though, it was a time for Barnsley pride, not recriminations.

They ought not to be able to run a team of Wednesday's standing so close even at 11 v 11, but Michael Duff has injected a spirit back into this club that had completely drained away only 12 months ago.

Like Wednesday, beaten at the semi-final stage as the Reds dropped out of the Championship last year, they must come again.

For the first 45 minutes it was every bit a South Yorkshire game – honest, hard-working and very tight.

But a foul by Phillips four minutes into the second half made for a much more entertaining game – and not a one-way one either.

It was a double-whammy for Barnsley, denied a penalty minutes earlier when Gregory's high boot caught Liam Kitching's in the Owls penalty area.

Clumsy rather than callous, it looked a penalty but video assistant referee Tony Harrington rubber-stamped Tim Robinson's decision rather than even asking him to reconsider it at the monitor.

Two minutes later, Phillips thundered into an unwise tackle on Gregory and caught him high. Robinson waved his red card and again Harrington backed him – this time probably correctly.

On a warm May afternoon, it looked advantage Wednesday.

But Barnsley gave as good as they got, initially daring to go a man short in midfield before sacrificing Devante Cole in the 72nd minute. Rather than simply dig in, they hit the woodwork through Kitching and James Norwood.

Nicky Cadden collected a long throw-in 54 minutes in and centre-back Kitching brilliantly deflected his shot onto the crossbar.

When Bannan floated a shot just beyond the far post at the other end a minute later, it felt like the game had started an hour or so late.

Barnsley had to fend off some friendly fire, Harry Isted saving from Bobby Thomas, who did brilliantly to get a foot in as Gregory bore down on the penalty area.

Half-time Barnsley substitute Norwood forced an excellent save from a tight angle which Cameron Dawson put onto the frame of his goal after 80 minutes.

It was a far cry from a first half when both looked to expose the other with right-to-left diagonals.

The first half of extra-time was largely played in front of Barnsley's goal, Mads Andersen clearing off his line then Isted pulling off two outstanding saves, the first from Michael Smith followed by a heroic Thomas block to deny Gregory in the 99th minute. Three minutes later he did brilliantly to turn a Bannan effort around the post.

Connell ought to have cashed in with a match-winner.

Kitching and Luke Thomas broke downfield and picked out Connell, the man over. He skewed his shot.

He would not be the only one left red-faced, Owls substitute Vaulks somersaulting a celebration shortly after the turnaround having arrived onto a pass and finished with aplomb only for linesman Akil Howson to flag for offside.

Anderson frustrated Gregory, throwing himself brilliantly in front of a shot shortly after cramp got the better of Bannan.

Penalties seemed inevitable but Windass had other ideas.

Whatever Duff’s team lacks after a three-game play-off series, never mind a 46-game season, it is not spirit. A young Barnsley must now show theirs by coming again.

Barnsley: Isted; Thomas, Andersen, Kitching; Williams, Phillips, Connell, Kane (Benson 72 (Russell 90)), Cadden (Watters 106); Tedic (Norwood 46), Cole (Thomas 72).

Unused substitutes: Cundy, Collins.

Sheffield Wednesday: Dawson; Iorfa, Ihiekwe, James (Hunt 103); Paterson (Vaulks 79), Palmer, Bannan (Dele-Bashiru 115), Johnson; Windass; Smith, Gregory.

Unused substitutes: Brown, Adeniran, Stockdale, Flint.

Referee: T Robinson (West Sussex).