Sworn at, told to go back to the kitchen - but West Yorkshire rugby union's two female referees are rising to the challenge

Niamh O’Connor was the first, and was only 16 when she first officiated a game.

A player with Old Crossleyans, she would sit watching international matches with her father, pointing out where the officials were making mistakes.

“My Dad would say I was wrong, so we’d rewind it and find out I was right, and he was like ‘you should actually ref’,” says O’Connor, who was recovering from a broken collarbone when she first took up officiating.

The Rugby Football Union and their local affiliates, in this case the Yorkshire RFU, are keen to get women on coaching and refereeing pathways, so offer courses.

The officiating one, for women and men, is two full days. Day one is the basics and welfare, after which you can take the whistle and referee games; day two comes a number of months later, at the conclusion of which you are a qualified referee.

O’Connor’s first game was a school game. “It was nerve-racking,” she says, “luckily my Dad did the first half for me, and I did the second. I got most of the grief from students that didn’t know me.”

She did her first senior men’s game in January. “I was absolutely terrified, but after the game I realised it wasn’t that bad.

“There have been a few incidents. One of the players actually asked me ‘when is the kitchen going to open?’ When I did the pre-match brief I made a point of looking him in the eye and saying I was today’s referee, and I got a lot of satisfaction when his face dropped.”

A month later O’Connor was refereeing a game at Twickenham.

“It was an exhibition curtain-raiser to the England-Italy Six Nations game,” she beams.

“I’d done a few Inspire events with female match officials and one of the organisers dropped me an email and asked if I’d like to do it. It turns out it was four days before my 18th birthday. It was an incredible experience.”

Right around the same time, 25-year-old Elena Bunbury, was refereeing her first senior men’s game.

She had started playing rugby when living in London pre-Covid, and when she moved back north to settle in West Yorkshire, she started playing for Old Brodleians.

“I played scrum-half, so was always at the heart of the decision-making and aware of the laws,” says Bunbury. “When this course came up my team-mates said I should do it.”

She describes the first men’s game she refereed as a ‘baptism of fire’.

“It was a men’s second team derby game, very heated and I was out of my depth,” says Bunbury.

“I was so anxious before that first game that I threw up in the toilets.

“I got sworn at by one of the players, the worst word imaginable. I’ve had men say ‘this is why women shouldn’t play rugby, let alone referee it’.

"The main thing I find is I get hit on, on the pitch, a disgusting amount of times. Players walking up to a scrum saying ‘what are you doing later ref?’”

If a minority of players are proving to be ignorant, the framework that offered O’Connor and Bunbury the chance to take up the whistle has been nothing but supportive.

“The support we have had from the rugby union society is insane,” says Bunbury. “I did my course for free because there was a RFU grant to get more women involved.

“And from a Yorkshire RFU point of view our games have been overseen by an advisor who has been on the sidelines, he talked to me before and gave me feedback afterwards.

“When these incidents have happened my referee’s assessor rang up the team the next day and told them it was not acceptable.

“There’s a Yorkshire female referee called Nia Parsonage who’s officiated at a high level, Women’s premier XVs, she’s been amazing with both of us.

"She’ll come and run the touchline for us, offer us advice and encouragement at the end of a game.

"If I hadn’t had the support from Nia after my initial baptism of fire, I’m not sure I’d have stuck at it.”

O’Connor adds: “We’ve got a nationwide female match official Facebook group with 200 people on it. That’s actually how I met Elena, I saw her post about her first game and dropped her a message.”

Hanson Haigh runs the referees section for the West Yorkshire RFU.

“If they don’t have an assessor we try to provide them with a mentor or a coach,” he says. “We deliberately set out to give them very good support and get them on the pathway. We would do that with the male referees as well.”

And both women are growing with each game.

“I’ve always been a confident person, I’m not someone who gets easily intimidated. And Niamh is the same, she’s tough,” says Bunbury.

“When I started I was a pushover, you feel overwhelmed with 15 men shouting at you. But I’m at the point now where it’s my pitch and I don’t care. If they’ve got a reasonable question and challenge I’ll absolutely hear it and evaluate it, but anything else I don’t have time for. Any abuse and I’ll march you back 10 metres.”

O’Connor adds: “When they start swearing at you, just march them back 10 metres, they soon realise they’re hurting their team. I just say to them ‘do I need to treat you like the Under-12s and teach you how to be respectful?, which tends to work pretty well.”

Would either of them recommend other women pursue refereeing?

“One hundred per cent yes,” insists teenager O’Connor. “It helps your confidence so much because you are effectively alone when you do the games.

“Coming off the pitch and having players, coaches and parents say to you really well done is very satisfying.”

Bunbury concludes: “If I feel a world is meant to be male dominated then I’m always going to challenge that and I think other women should do the same. There’s no reason for rugby union to be a man’s world.”

To get involved in refereeing rugby union, visit the Yorkshire RFU website or one of the five regional associations.