Ibiza: Treading carefully

island charms Early summer is ideal for Ibiza but watch out for pitfalls that might cost you dear, says Frederic Manby.

Ibiza is one of the three major Balearic Islands, about 50 miles from Valencia on Spain’s Mediterranean coast. The last time I was there was to drive an American 4x4 which has sold about six. A flop.

I saw the point of using Ibiza for the event. It is an attractive island, if no better than many others: Madeira, Sardinia, Corfu, Mallorca: take your pick of languages and cultures. Spanish life usually hits the mark for me and this you get, with a few twists, on Ibiza. I liked it very much.

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My base was one of the ultimate villas in the north of the island, hired at considerable expense for a birthday party. Here came the first lesson.

By some confused manipulations its owner, based on the mainland, wanted a remaining e1,000 balance of the e3,600 (already paid by bank draft) in cash on arrival because he said the bank transfer had not cleared.

Oh, and he also wanted another e2,000 in cash against breakages, paying to the on-site caretaker.

In short, he was holding a surplus of e3,000 in cash which, barring damage, had to be repaid at some time at his leisure. Oh, and the caretaker neither offered nor gave a receipt or an invoice of chattels.

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This would all work out all right in time, less deductions of about e300 for alleged damage. One of the folding teak deckchairs cracked and the nozzle in the kitchen tap was faulty on departure. It had clearly been troublesome in the past: why else would the caretaker check a tap nozzle?

Of course, one never imagines that a tap would have a faulty nozzle. Just like the small print in the insurance contract for the budget hire car at the airport which excluded damage to the clutch.

That was a jolt of e220 for the new clutch, which can be bought for half that price. At least they waived the fitting charge. One might suspect that the clutch was already on the blink.

Tough luck if you have the car on hire when the clutch lets go. You pay. There are many steep hills in Ibiza. The hire car receptionist said failed clutches were far from uncommon. She was sympathetic and replaced it with a free upgrade .

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So, pay up because they already have your credit card details and you need another set of wheels. The baby Chevy was replaced by a Lancia Ypsilon, a better car.

The cynic may argue that it is easy to get “ripped off” on Ibiza. There was certainly disquiet in a nightclub-bar where staff poured away the drinks if the customer went for a dance or to the toilet.

This for drinks selling at a tenner a glass. Or at the high-priced birthday bash at a smart beach restaurant where waiters were taking away bottles of fizz with an expensive glassful left in the bottom.

A publican in our group leveraged a 20 per cent reduction because of poor quality (skewered chicken that had to be sent back twice for proper cooking, poor co-ordination of the courses and disappointing value).

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At another beach bar I paid £17 for a five-minute stir-together of pasta, shredded salt anhovies, florets of barely cooked broccoli, a scraping of parmesan cheese and dash of seasoning. Still, it was a wonderful setting in which to eat it.

The other problem was a natural one: stinging jellyfish, which can make the lovely blue-green sea a no-go area for all but the most agile of swimmers.

Why go to Ibiza? Well, with forethought and a bright mind you can avoid most of this.

Don’t just drive off into the sunlit yonder in your hire care. Take five minutes to check out the contract. Learn how to tell if a clutch is dodgy. Check a rental house thoroughly on arrival. Watch for drink-grabbing bar staff.

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Ibiza is in so many ways very nice. It has friendly people, pretty villages, and with hardly any litter.

The climate in early summer is warm but not sizzling, dry and not humid. There are pleasing clean beaches, rocky coves, inland olive groves, fruiting apricot trees, stunning blossoms, yet a surprising paucity of bird life.

Self-catering suites in modest apartment blocks, with a pool and very near the beach in Sant Miguel port were £170 for five nights.

I did go to two restaurants which are worth mentioning. The Can Curune in Sant Llorenc is a typical roadside shop, bar and restaurant. A first night supper of scrambed eggs with prawns and spinach was excellent, as was a late breakfast stew in rich olive oil of octopus, green pepper, potato and onion on the last day. Estrella beer at e2 for a large glass is half what you’ll pay in a tourist hot spot.

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The other good experience was in the same community at La Paloma. This is up-market but once again sensibly priced and well run, with a wider menu. I enjoyed “burnt”aubergine with a tahini and honey filling and a deep bowl of finely sliced squid, onions and tomatoes: a delicious tangle of flavours and textures.

The other good news was the Ryanair flight. I read the critical comments, the cost of putting a bag in the hold with a 15kg limit, the strict one carry-on bag rule. Play it by their rules and you should be happy.

I flew from Stansted with my niece who was having the party but there are flights from many regional airports, including Leeds Bradford, Liverpool and East Midlands.

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