How financial problems can have a negative impact on your love life - Sarah Coles

For most people, finding someone financially solvent makes it to even the most ruthlessly edited list. We surveyed 2,000 people through Opinium at the end of last year, and found that only one in five would date someone with financial problems.

Some groups of people are more likely to see money worries as a red flag – particularly older, divorced women on lower incomes.

While a quarter of men said they’d date someone with money problems, only one in seven women agreed.

Meanwhile, only 5 per cent of divorced people said they’d date someone with financial worries, along with just 16 per cent of basic rate taxpayers and 11 per cent of non-taxpayers.

It’s easy to see why daters aren’t keen to match with someone who will make their life more difficult and complicated financially. It’s also perfectly understandable that the less you earn, the less likely you are to consider it.

If you’re already having to work hard to make ends meet, there’s a much bigger risk that someone else’s problems could push you under.

There’s also the sense that people who have been around for a while know just how stressful it can be to live with someone else’s money worries.

An awful lot of people are reluctant to bring it up early in case they come across as mercenary, so they don’t realise that someone has financial problems until it’s too late. Meanwhile, others will find someone who is perfect in every other way, so decide they can overlook their money worries.

Fortunately, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world, because there are steps you can take to protect yourself.

The process starts with being open about money, and starting a conversation about where you both stand. Don’t be afraid to dig into the details of any money concerns, including debts, overspending or things like gambling. If they’re in serious financial trouble, you need to make some decisions. Are they prepared to tackle their problems?

Are you willing to make compromises while they do this? And what will you do if they fall short?

If this is linked to a wider problem, such as addiction, it’s not going to be an easy problem to solve, so if you want to stay together, you need to be prepared for ups and downs.

If they’re not getting to grips with financial problems, it becomes even more of an issue if you want to move in together. At that point you need to ask yourself: can you cope financially if they can’t pay their way, and are you prepared to do so?

These are two separate issues, and you shouldn’t feel under pressure to say yes to either of them.

If they’re carrying large debts, or have a history of running them up, you might want to take an extra legal step too.

This could be a cohabitation agreement before they move in, or a prenup if you’re considering getting married. You will still be responsible for any joint debts, but you can stipulate how you want to deal with pre-existing debts or debts they run up in their own name.

These agreements aren’t legally binding, but as long as you both get independent legal advice, and explain why you want to divide the debts this way, they will be considered by the courts.

If their problems are less serious, and your partner is just not very good with money, you might not want to go to these lengths. However, it may still make sense to set up direct debits, so you know all the bills are covered.

You can either share direct debits fairly from both of your accounts on pay day, or your partner can set up a direct debit to you and you can cover the bills. That way they’re the first thing that’s paid every month.

Some couples will have a joint account for bills, but you need to be careful about taking out any joint financial products, because it will link your credit records.

It means if your partner makes financial mistakes and runs up debts or misses payments, it will affect your ability to borrow.

Considering sharing your life with a financial nightmare can be frightening, and it’s one more thing to worry about when you’re about to take the leap into shark-infested dating waters.

However, by considering the risks and taking steps to protect yourself, you don’t have to pick a partner based on the soundness of their finances.

It means you can afford to consider other things on your list that are even harder to find – whether you’re looking for someone tall, dark and handsome, or just someone who’s willing to take the bins out.