The Yorkshire Vet, Julian Norton celebrates a 'milestone' birthday during a weekend of celebrations
The combination of sunny weather, the wedding of a friend and colleague and a significant birthday saw a large surge in my cake consumption, not to mention wine.
Luckily, it was for only one (long) weekend. One cannot survive exclusively on wine and cake for very long. As one of the first birthday cards said: “The years have been extremely kind to you. It’s the weekends that have done the damage.”
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Hide AdWe were nearly late for the wedding – a Bassett with a strip of fabric tangled in its bowel and a Dalmatian with a pine-cone in his, followed by a collie in need of a stitch-up took us right up to the last possible minute.
The final sutures were placed and followed by the most rapid of quick changes, like Superman and Wonder Woman, although with very different outfits. The taxi driver, who was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel whilst waiting outside our house, was visibly impressed.
I don’t feel fifty, so it was confusing when almost all the cards appeared to have that number written on the front. “I wonder who all those cards are for” was my first and recurring thought when I caught sight of them.
At least I could catch sight of them. Depleted eyesight is one of the early signs of “getting on” and I’m fighting the need to get some of those glasses that you can buy from the supermarket rather than an optician.
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Hide AdI know they are good, if not essential and I also know it’s only a matter of time. Close-up surgery can be frustrating but luckily the table or the patient can usually be moved further away.
The small print on the menus of dimly lit restaurants present the biggest problem. I can sympathise with a friend who was once perusing the list of pizzas on offer at a local Italian when we went out for dinner.
“I think I’d like this one at the bottom, please,” he pronounced to the waiter. On closer inspection, the writing at the bottom started by saying: “additional toppings”. It was followed by a long list of every single possible pizza accoutrement, which clearly looked a delicious combination when viewed completely out of focus.
Compared to some, my eyes are faring OK, although fastening the safety pin on the back of the badge which proudly stated “50 today” proved sufficiently challenging that I had to pull a funny face to focus. I suppose I could have attached the badge a bit lower down.
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Hide AdI’m pretty fit and I’m pleased to say I can almost keep up with my teenage kids at some sports. Last week, when Jack and I raced around the trails near Thirsk on our mountain bikes, had I not stopped to pick up a stray banana skin I might even have come home first.
It’s harder to beat Archie, although left-handed table tennis appears to be his Achilles heel. I once remember seeing a parent failing to keep up with his seven-year-old daughter during a fun run and it focused my mind, not least to try and set a good example.
If you ask Anne, she’ll say that my age-related failure is primarily affecting my ears.
I do not agree. I think she should speak a little louder and not at times when other loud things are happening.
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Hide AdHaving said that, when asked just now before a short dog walk if I could pass her a poo bag, I must have looked confused.
“Why do you want a shoe bag?” I replied. Her eyes rolled upwards. “A POO bag!” she bellowed this time, before collapsing in a heap of laughter.