Home schooling: Parents left with no choice but to go it alone by our broken system

For some parents, home schooling is not a choice but the only way their children will get an education amid issues such as special needs. Ruby Kitchen reports.

As Billy’s confidence crumbles, he lashes out at a small boy sitting nearby. He does have a helper, but she’s always so busy, and now he has to share her time. It started with some shouting but then he was expelled. Billy* is six years old.

For many families, home education is a conscious choice. But as a last resort, to save your child’s wellbeing, it can feel forced against all will.

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Sarah, Billy’s mother in North Yorkshire, feels she has no other options. Nor do the Bishop family, Natalie and Chris in Ryedale, who have four children aged eight to 16.

The Bishop family, of Ryedale. Parents Natalie and Chris with Fin, 16, Riley, 14, George, 11, and Arabella, eight, who have struggled with mainstream education.The Bishop family, of Ryedale. Parents Natalie and Chris with Fin, 16, Riley, 14, George, 11, and Arabella, eight, who have struggled with mainstream education.
The Bishop family, of Ryedale. Parents Natalie and Chris with Fin, 16, Riley, 14, George, 11, and Arabella, eight, who have struggled with mainstream education.

They all started their schooling in the picture-perfect village primary. None now follow a traditional route. To Mrs Bishop, this was forced upon them by a “broken system”. As they brace against yet more tribunals, the battle can feel endless, she said.

“I always believed in children going to school, and having that social experience,” she said. “It’s lovely when it’s all rainbows.

“The dark side is under-funded LEAs. The impact is acute. It’s not a rosy picture, for those that never wanted to do this. The system is failing our children.”

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Sarah*, in North Yorkshire, says she was left with no choice but to home educate.

She always knew, she said, that Billy had some special educational needs (SEN). When he started school, she added, it felt they had to ‘prove’ it – by letting him hit rock bottom.

Every day he went to school. As his behaviour escalated, he was put on the SEN register, then granted an education and health care plan (EHCP).

“He wasn’t given the right funding band,” she said. “He wasn’t able to access one-to-one support. It was a mishmash of staff, for a child with autism.”

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Billy wasn’t coping. He would escape out of school. So he was no longer allowed out at break time. Then he would lash out, only to be restrained, again and again.

“As a parent you assume school will be able to support him,” said his mother. “That didn’t happen. He ended up permanently excluded at six years old.

“He doesn’t fit the system. He has been failed in his first years.”

Billy is now part home-educated with a part-time place in a special school. His mother applies for more hours, and to adapt his EHCP. Twice, she said, the council hasn’t turned up.

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She can count three families, within sight of their home, in similar situations.

“There is a certain type of child with SEN that doesn’t quite ‘fit’,” she said. “High functioning children who don’t belong in either mainstream or specialist schools. There isn’t a place for them to be.

“My son is so clever,” she added. “He can build anything. He just can’t sit still and listen to a storybook. It’s not recognised as a priority, to build on what makes him feel good.”

And back in Ryedale, with the Bishops, it’s beginning to sound a familiar story. A child with SEN, battling over provision that doesn’t meet his needs. And a tribunal, to fight for more.

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Fin, now aged 16, has autism and ADHD. He too began in mainstream schooling, where he struggled.

“Sadly, he became quite violent at times,” said Mrs Bishop. “He was unable to cope, with his unmet needs.

“It’s not his fault, but he was lashing out and he was incredibly violent towards our younger children. It’s had a knock-on effect.”

Fin was put on a part time schedule but soon he wasn’t going at all. The family took North Yorkshire Council, as the local education authority (LEA), to tribunal, securing a place at residential school.

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But by now their second son Riley, 14, was struggling. Large and loud classes at secondary was all too much, said his mother.

“Riley had always gone to school, always had friends, he always fit in,” she said. “It was really sad to see now that he couldn’t.”

Suddenly, said Mrs Bishop, the pressure was “next level”. The family pulled him out in Year 8 and he is now home educated. Riley doesn’t need specialist support, said his mother. He just couldn’t cope in that environment.

“We knew he was going to end up in trouble,” she added. “And we don’t agree with putting children in isolation booths.”

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Now there is George, 11, who has suspected autism. In Year 6, with merged groups, there are 38 children in his class size. He too was put on a part time pathway.

“It’s the worst thing they can do, they just don’t go back,” said Mrs Bishop.

George is still officially on the roll at his primary school. He attends for half an hour on a Monday. Again, his parents are readying for a tribunal.

Arabella, the youngest, who is eight, is now home educated. The turmoil of the past few years has paid its price. She missed her early years of schooling, with Covid and lockdowns. Then she witnessed her three brother’s struggles.

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Even at the chocolate-box, picture-perfect rural primary school, it was a daily battle getting Arabella in. So now her parents home educate, as they look perhaps at private school.

Mrs Bishop never thought she would home educate four children. Director of her own company, Little Years Nurseries, she runs three settings across North Yorkshire.

“It’s been testing,” she admitted. “Having to be a teacher to your child. We feel like we’re failing. I didn’t expect it. Still sometimes now I wonder if I’m doing the right thing."

And within weeks of Riley leaving mainstream education, he was himself again, she said. Children are resilient, they do bounce back.

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The Bishops set up a not-for-profit to help other families, The SEND Family. Home education can be brilliant, they firmly believe, and a wonderful life choice. When it is a choice.

“There are lots of families who have chosen this from a very young age, whose children have never set foot in a school,” said Mrs Bishop.

“It’s what works best for everybody, and that is lovely. Unfortunately, thanks have to go to the LEA for failing so many children and so many families.

“Our family was left so long without support, for our eldest. We were battling for four or five years.”

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She added: “It’s not the teachers’ fault. It’s the system they are under.”

And Billy’s mum echoes this sentiment. “There isn’t enough provision or funding,” she said. “I don’t blame the school. I blame everything around it.”

North Yorkshire Council’s assistant director for education, learning and skills, Amanda Newbold, said: “We cannot comment on individual cases. However, for the vast majority of our children with SEND, their local mainstream school or college is the best place for them to attend school and have their needs met while remaining with their friends in their local communities.”

*Some names have been changed to protect the children’s identities.

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