Andy's Man Club: How pioneering Yorkshire group is helping to save live by getting men to talk

These are not firefighters or soldiers but the job they do is just as critical in helping that most vulnerable of people: men.

We might not consider the male of the species to be at risk but when it comes to suicide, they are. And for one simple reason: communication.

Some might regard it as a myth but it is staggeringly true that women with emotional issues will be far more likely to discuss them with their friends. But men quite often regard opening up and discussing their feelings as too fluffy for them.

Even men with a good network of pals will avoid difficult subjects which might make them a butt of jokes.

So this is where a pioneering group, which was set up in West Yorkshire, comes in. It’s Andy’s Man Club, a network of men’s suicide prevention groups which now numbers 5,700 or more men each week meeting at 240-plus groups organized by upwards of 2,500 “amazing volunteers”.

Their mission? To get men to talk, to open up about their feelings of loneliness or despair rather than bottling it up.

Wayne, a businessman from Elland, says the first step is often the hardest for men who often find it incredibly difficult to open up and talk.

He had difficult times after the sudden suicide of his brother Michael in 2008. But seven years after joining Andy’s Man Club, he is now one of its biggest advocates and is a facilitator at a group which meets each week at the Holiday Inn hotel at Clifton near Brighouse.

He and other volunteers often see men in the car park, struggling to make the final step. But when they do make the breakthrough and visit the group, they find the comradeship and support very rewarding.

“Often, they won’t say a word for a few weeks of attending, but then they suddenly open up and they find a lot of help and support,” said Wayne.

He is still amazed at the power of the group. Or rather the power in instills in the men who go along.

“It was in 2017 when I first went along to a group in Halifax and for six months I thought, no, this isn’t for me,” he said. “After a while you realise that it isn’t just you that’s going through a hard time. It’s all of us. We are all finding it difficult for different reasons. It might be depression, anxiety, loneliness, or whatever it is. It’s difficult.

“We had one man who had a son in Ireland and another in Devon and they both came over to help their dad make a trip of half a mile to an Andy’s Man Club. That’s love for you.

“People come along and talk if they want but some just listen and then join when they’re ready. You get as much out of it from listening as you do from talking so that’s not a problem if they just want to take a back seat.

“You can express or suppress your emotions but it will come out one way or another. It’s far better to let it out naturally.

“The only things we can’t discuss are politics, religion, medication or criminal matters. Some are obvious and the medication rule is because we don’t want to interfere with the medical side of things. Medication that work for you might not work for someone else.”

Wayne’s message to men is: “Don’t suffer in silence. Come along on a Monday at 7pm.”

Emmerdale storyline

Andy’s Man Club is still reaping the benefit of featuring on Emmerdale in 2023.

Emmerdale’s Dominic Brunt said educating himself on the topic of suicide for his storyline in 2023 had been “really shocking”, but he felt “privileged and honoured” to serve the story.

Brunt, who has appeared as vet Paddy Kirk in the soap since 1997, was involved in a storyline that will see his character struggle with his mental health and attempt to take his own life as he hits rock bottom.

The ITV programme has worked closely with emotional support charity Samaritans and Andy’s Man Club to ensure the scenes accurately “shine a light on male mental health”.

Speaking about collaborating with the charities and doing his own research into the subject, Brunt said: “Not only has it been inspirational, but it’s been pitch black dark and it’s made me appreciate what I have. I feel I have mental fortitude and my life kind of sails along here.

“Speaking to people where life has hit them so hard from left field, nobody has asked for this, it has been really shocking. Everyone that has come through the other side of it has always said: ‘I’m glad I spoke to someone, talking saved me’ … It’s been incredible really.

“I felt a huge sense of responsibility on my shoulders to try and get it right so I’ve done my best, but I felt very looked-after and very involved and it made me trust the whole process.” Brunt said he did not want to “squander the opportunity” to give the subject a platform among audiences and encourage men not to “suffer in silence”.

How club started

Andy’s Man Club takes its name from Andrew Roberts, a Halifax man who took his own life aged 23 in early 2016.

Andy’s family had no inclination that he was suffering or struggling to the extent that he would do this, and as a result looked deeper into male suicide and men’s mental health. They soon discovered that male suicide is the biggest killer of men under 54, with male mental health surrounded by well-ingrained cultural stigma in the UK.

Elaine Roberts and Luke Ambler are Andy’s mother and brother-in-law and together they came up with the idea of the club where men aged 18 and above can speak openly about their mental health in a judgment-free, non-clinical environment. From having nine men at the first meeting, they now have 5,700 men attending branches each week.