'Candlelighters charity helped me when my sister died of cancer - now I'm considering a career in care'
When Ruby Craddock was nine-years-old, her older sister Maci was diagnosed with an aggressive non-curable brain tumour.
"It was a scary time for the whole family,” she reflects now, eight years on. But Yorkshire children’s cancer charity Candlelighters offered support that Ruby says has gone on to shape the teenager she is today.
The organisation funds outreach play specialists at Leeds Children’s Hospital, among the services it offers to families of children with cancer.
"They have a critical role in supporting the emotional and psychological wellbeing of patients, helping them to understand their diagnosis in an age-appropriate way, and using play to reduce anxiety around treatment and hospital visits,” explains CEO Emily Wragg.
“They also work with patients’ siblings to help them understand what's happening to their brother or sister. This includes work with bereaved siblings, helping to ease the pressure on parents to know what to say to their other children.”
Candlelighters have funded play specialist Tracy West since 2016. She first met Ruby in 2017, spending time with her whilst Maci was an inpatient, offering light relief from such a devastating situation, as well as safe space to ask questions and express her feelings.
Mum Susan Mountain says: “It was nice for Ruby to know that Tracy was there just to support her, and that she was important too. Tracy was able to explain to Ruby, at an appropriate level, why her sister was in hospital and what was happening. She used age-appropriate resources to begin conversations about Maci’s diagnosis and how this was affecting Maci’s body.”
Maci sadly deteriorated and was taken to Forget Me Not Hospice. Tracy spent just over a year supporting Ruby following Maci’s death and helped her to understand the strong feelings that grief and missing someone brings.
She also encouraged Ruby to attend a bereaved sibling group to meet other children in similar situations.
Ruby says: “Tracy was there for me after my sister passed away, she was my person - she still is. Grief is a difficult thing for any person to go through, and losing my big sister at a young age made it more difficult to process until some more time had passed, and I had learned more about the emotions I was feeling.
“I am still in contact with Tracy to catch up, and we recently had a meeting to talk more about her job and how she got there, because that is something I am working towards in the future.
"She has motivated me to consider working towards a career in a caring profession. Without Tracy's help, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.”
Tracy says: “It fills me with pride to hear that my input and work with Ruby had such a huge impact not only at that time in her life, but how it has influenced her career choice. It’s thanks to Candlelighters that this role and vital support exists.”