'We're rowing the Atlantic to support lifeline suicide bereavement charity that helped us after loss of our father and husband'

"Robert was a calm, placid, really funny easy-going chap,” she says. “He just got on with life, never seemed to be very fazed by stuff really. He loved his family, he loved his life, he loved his golf. I don’t think he realised how anxious he was. What he was anxious about, we don’t know. Had he realised that things weren't going along in an easy manner, I think he would have gone to do something about it. It was an enormous shock because nobody saw it coming – and I really genuinely think including him. It was just so out of character.”

Harrogate-based Charlotte and her family have been supported since Robert’s death by the charity Suicide&Co, which offers counselling services to people bereaved by suicide. She and her children are now aiming to raise more than £200,000 for the "utter lifeline” charity by rowing 3,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean. They have signed up to take part in the World’s Toughest Row as a team of four, in memory of their husband and father. Despite having no rowing experience, they are set to embark on the epic challenge from La Gomera to Antigua in December next year and expect to be at sea for around 45 days.

“I don't think any of us really have quite appreciated yet how difficult it's going to be," says Charlotte. “There's nothing that can prepare you for being 1,500 miles out in the middle of an ocean. Because you've never done it before, so you can only imagine it. I do think it'll be really frightening. And there's loads of discomfort. I mean, you sleep in a little tiny cabin where you have to sort of roll up like a fetus because there's not space for you to lie out fully...And we'll be sore, our hands will be painful from the rowing.”

But those who have done the route before have told the family it’s the best thing they’ll ever do and Charlotte hopes it will mark a new chapter in their grief. “One of the things that we've been asked to do by our coach is have a mantra of why we're doing this,” she explains. “You always keep that focus in your mind so on the really dark days when you're feeling that you can't go on, you have to dig deep and say we're doing this for Rob. And that is what keeps you going.”

The idea for the row came from youngest son Henry, 31, who had been harbouring a secret yearning to take to the sea. When he told James of his plans to row the Atlantic in memory of his dad, James wanted to join him. Soon, all three siblings were on board with the challenge – and Camilla was later convinced to take part too. "Robert would think we were completely barmy,” she says. “He was very risk averse…He wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. Absolutely not.”

The Ash family aim to buy their boat this April so they can start training on the water in Hartlepool and will also need to complete courses on sea navigation, weather routing and first aid. “They say that rowing an ocean is 90 per cent getting to the start line, the row is the victory lap of your campaign,” notes Henry.

To prepare for the challenge, the family is spending a lot of time in the gym and James and Henry are running the London Marathon, both as fundraisers and to build their stamina. There’s also lots of work going on behind the scenes, organising fundraising events and sourcing corporate sponsorship. Some of the money will need to cover the cost of the row but the family are determined to make a difference to the charity that helped them, by donating funds to support hundreds more people navigating grief after suicide.

Amelia Wrighton, CEO of Suicide&Co says the challenge is the biggest fundraiser for the charity to date. “The impact of the row on our ability to provide our services is monumental, alongside creating a huge platform raising awareness of suicide loss and encouraging those with lived experience to access professional support.”

- Visit ashfamilyrow.com