Caroline’s Flack’s death must make us stop and think about the judgements we make - Andrea Morrison

‘If you can be anything in this world, be kind’ has flooded social media over the past few days and it has made me quite sad that in such a developed society, we have to be reminded of such a basic human act. In many ways it’s easier to fall into a place of judgement, reaction and criticism, in fact it seems to me that our world often encourages us to do so.

Social media is an easy tool to share our beliefs, ideas, what we think is right or wrong. It’s effect is immediate and the recipients remote. We are encouraged to like, dislike, get angry or laugh, and give feedback, and, like slowing down at the scene of an accident to have a look, there are those that seem to thrive and enjoy watching others misfortune. However, it seems that kindness and understanding is something that has fallen out of vogue. You only have to listen to the news to hear examples of where judgement and criticism has triumphed over kindness and understanding the plight of a fellow human being in need, whether they be a celebrity or a homeless person living on our streets.

Whilst this will be something that we will have to revisit and be reminded of, I hope that each time we do, our learning will be deeper and its effect longer lasting. I hope this is a wake up call for us all, an opportunity to connect to who we really are as human beings, rather than who we think we should be.

Over the years I have been overwhelmed at how kind we can all be and I have often been in awe when in times of tragedy, we can pull together, forget differences and simply be so generous, understanding, caring and kind. There is kindness in all of us, we’re born with it, it’s innate, it’s not learnt.

Conversely judgement is learnt. Passed around from person to person, generation to generation. Ideas about how things should be, how people should behave, what decisions they should have made. They are not fixed, they are not permanent, they are not universal rules. And it’s this transient quality of judgement that in my mind gives us the hope for change. We have a choice when a judgement thought pops in our mind whether to articulate it, to act on it, to share it or to simply let it go. All we have to do is pause and it is gone.

I have found that this simple choice impacts our lives in several ways. Not only does it mean that those around us, those who are known to us (or not) are less judged by us, and therefore their lives positively impacted; but also, by allowing these thoughts to pass, we fall into a different feeling, a feeling that is calmer and more peaceful, where we are naturally kinder and more compassionate. This space, not only impacts those around us because we become more helpful, more understanding, but deeply impacts our own lives in a positive way because we then become kinder and more understanding towards ourselves.

andreamorrison.co.uk