Forget tourist taxes in cities, why don’t we start taxing visitors to the countryside? - Sarah Todd

A very impressive figure, making it interesting to wonder whether following in the footsteps of iconic cities such as Amsterdam and Venice - adding a small surcharge per night to go towards things such as promotion and street cleaning - is nothing more than common sense.

But some say it is a rip-off, likely to put those already feeling the pinch off visiting. Maybe even hammering a final nail in the coffin of those businesses that already shoulder such huge bills, including - thanks to the new Government’s budget - increased National Insurance contributions and a rise in the minimum wage.

Thinking aloud, surely the very least hoteliers should expect is for the authority that collects the rates to already be putting a pretty penny into pushing the area and keeping it spick and span.

It is only human nature to wonder why the buck should be passed to the visitor. After all, chances are they will have already paid through the nose for rail tickets or parking before even entering the hotel reception. Then doing their bit for the local economy with shopping sprees, eating out, theatre trips and so on.

Anyway, that’s enough city talk for this country bumpkin.

Instead - and here is a curveball - what about taxing visitors to the countryside?

Yes, never mind Leeds or Liverpool. What about from Arkengarthdale to Wetwang then back to Yockenthwaite. Incidentally, is there a Z?

First things first, no local authority would be trusted with administering this imaginary rural rate. No red tape or overpaid executives. Just a network of tamper-proof honesty boxes or - for those that don’t carry cash - details of community bank accounts pinned up so that electronic payment could be speedily sent. Maybe, for tourist hotspots, a toll barrier?

A countryside tax could go a long way towards making up for all the visitors to England’s green and pleasant land who don’t so much as buy an ice-cream or a pint in the pub (if they can find one still open for business).

Come on, don’t be coy, we all know the type. Blocking people’s driveways or farmers’ gateways with a boot full of dogs. Returning after a full day, noisily shrieking for Arthur and Allegra to come back and have their organic juice. Shaking the mud off their extortionately expensive country clobber and pretending they haven’t seen their dogs messing on some unfortunate yokel’s doorstep before putting them back into the new registration car.

Of course, a minibus of Duke of Edinburgh students or retired ramblers are - let’s be clear - much more acceptable. But they could still surely donate a token amount if they parked up for the day.

Sorry reader, your correspondent is unleashed now. Red hair standing on end at the thought of dogs not on leads; worrying sheep and careering through crops. While we’re talking about taxes, don’t forget farmers need every inch of grain to grow these days to pay our Chancellor of the Exchequer Rachel Reeves’s family farm one. Fido’s frolicking and Allegra’s cartwheels play havoc with the tons to the acre.

Deep breath and plough on. Let’s imagine it all works perfectly and - unencumbered by politicians poking their noses in - the tax proves to be a super little perk. Oh no, forget we mentioned the ‘p’ word, the aforementioned Chancellor will be wanting to get her hands on it.

But just think of the good that could be done. Those lifelong locals no longer driving who would really appreciate a subsidised shopping service into town or whose grandchildren would love some swings to play on.

Of course, the keyboard warriors will be rattling off angry missives, but this tongue-in-cheek look at the countryside is maybe worth more than a moment’s thought. If everybody who parked-up in a tourist trap layby or pulled a wheel up a village verge donated a pound - about a third of the price of the average cup of coffee - wonderful things could be achieved with the proceeds.

Some could go towards the upkeep of village halls and activities. Perhaps a pensioners’ lunch (we know how the Government loves this sector of our population). If nothing else, an annual party. Nothing like a good old-fashioned knees up to temporarily forget the townie trait of dog poo bags tied to hedges (what’s that all about?).

Shame, for if local authorities could be relied upon to administer it efficiently, the cash could go towards pothole repairs and keeping village schools open. But best not risk it. From paying for the planting of a few bulbs on the village green, or a memorial bench to remember a long-time resident, the possibilities are endless.

All a bit of fun to ramble - pun intended - on, but let’s not get stuck-in-the-mud.

While the Government insists it needs the family farm tax to pay for the NHS and other public services, then perhaps those who live in rural areas should charge urban visitors. If Sir Keir Starmer’s metropolitan elite types want to keep getting the spinach and ricotta mini quiches (and the dogs) out, perhaps is it time for them to cough up?

Sarah Todd is a journalist specialising in farming and country life. Read her weekly Yorkshire Post column every Wednesday.