How parents can alleviate results day pressure for children - Matt Buttery
For young people across Yorkshire – and their families – August can feel like a month of waiting at the crossroads. A-level results arrive on the 14th, with GCSEs following closely on the 21st. For many, these dates loom large, bringing with them a mix of excitement, nerves, and anticipation.
It’s perfectly natural for children to feel that these results might determine the course of their lives. As parents and carers, watching our children face these pivotal moments can be just as nerve-wracking. However, there are simple and effective ways we can help alleviate some of the pressure.
When emotions are running high, it’s easy for things to spiral. That’s why it helps to have a plan in place before the envelope is opened or the email is clicked.
If things go well – brilliant. Celebrate together. It could be something as simple as going out for dinner or heading to the cinema. Marking the occasion helps acknowledge the effort your child has put in, not just the outcome.
If the results aren’t what they hoped for, it’s important to respond calmly and supportively. Taking a walk together outside can provide space to breathe, talk and discuss next steps. The key is to reassure them that no matter what, they’re not alone and this isn’t the end of the road.
Pre-planning these options means you’re better equipped to manage whatever the day brings, and it shows your child that success isn’t defined by one moment.
Letting your child know that they can open up about any concerns they may have can also help to relieve stress. Teenagers can find it challenging to speak up and share what’s worrying them, so initiating a discussion with them, listening attentively, and allowing them to raise any issues they might have will help them feel supported and encourage them to voice their worries.
It’s important that they know you are there for them if they need you. Similarly, it’s good to be able to talk openly with your child once they’ve actually received their results.
Setting a strong example by staying positive and relaxed when discussing exam results is a great way to reduce tension and instill confidence in students.
We know that teenagers often look to how their parents act in their own lives as examples of how to behave, so projecting a sense of calm and resilience can help them learn how to cope with adversity and become more resilient themselves.
Additionally, Triple P recommends that you try and avoid using phrases like “you must be nervous”, because you may risk accidentally stressing out an otherwise calm child.
When your child receives and tells you their results, they will likely pay close attention to your response and will be quick to pick up on any negative cues. In the event that your teenager receives disappointing results, it’s best to remember to stay calm and avoid responding angrily to avoid worsening an already emotional situation.
At the end of the day, although exam results are important, it’s worth keeping the bigger picture in mind.
By planning ahead of time, modelling healthy behaviour and giving them the space to talk openly, you can support children through the ups and downs of results day, helping prepare them for the next stage in life.
Matt Buttery is the CEO of Triple P UK.