How we can maintain our New Year resolutions well into 2025 - Daxa Patel
The new year presents an opportunity like a new day to start afresh. Many of us will have set ourselves new year resolutions like losing the extra weight, finding a new job, or finding a new home and so on. But human nature is such that we start with gusto and energy then before we know it we fall back on our default patterns of behaviour and reach the point of giving up.
I am not a psychologist or a professor on these matters, but being a leadership coach does mean I have to understand the nuances between the mindset and behaviour, and this requires a fair degree of understanding of human psyche and outcomes.
To those who might be wobbling, it is still not too late to get back to your planned resolve to lose that weight or find that new job, the key is the emotions we attach to anything we wish to achieve.
As the famous saying goes, if we keep doing the same thing repeatedly, we cannot expect a different outcome.
To the wobblers, and I have in the past been one of them, we must take a leaf out of all those we admire who do achieve what they set out to achieve. Mirror them and learn.
We also need strategies along with the right people by our side to make sure we stick to our path. This year, amongst my priority goals is self-care and well-being.
We often consider self-care as a luxury but in reality is no different to the advice of putting the oxygen mask on ourselves so that we can be there for those we care about, and we can only be there for them at our best if we have invested time, energy and effort in taking care of ourselves.
Once we are clear on ‘our why’ we become clear on our purpose, so if the goal is to lose the extra five kilos, we know it is to maybe look great, feel great and feel healthier, or even a forthcoming holiday.
My invitation to all those who may be on the cusp of giving up on their new year dreams is to also add a new mantra, be bolder and say no more to things that do not serve you.
Often one of the common excuses for giving up on our resolutions is the lack of time, or too many things on the plate so to speak, but ask yourself what matters most?
I wrote last week about my digital detox whereby I gave up watching TV and had three weeks from social media.
They say a habit has a chance of being part of our routine if we consistently maintain it for at least 21 days, well I am a month into my experiment, and I have replaced passive TV viewing with playing crazy and fun games with my German shepherd which by the way came in very handy when we had the recent snow that brought us to a standstill.
My second new joy is reading.
I know I will go back to my old ways as I am an all or nothing kind of person just like some of us are morning people and some are not.
Having got back into a new habit of reading in the evening instead of binge watching the television, I realised I need to have books on standby to read otherwise I risk going back to the old ways.
Regarding being bold, or bolder I ordered a couple of fiction books which is quite a departure as for many years my reading has been just non-fiction. Even I am surprised but I am enjoying this newfound change of habit.
To stay the course, it helps if we can intentionally be bolder and say no to more things that do not help us stay on our planned path.
So, if you want to go to the gym five times a week, make sure you stick to that commitment you have made to yourself and you have made yourself unavailable for activities that might be easier but will not help you in the long term.
I was reading this book by Robin Sharma titled, Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. In this book he talks about the choice point as part of the seven stages of self-awakening.
Stage one is to ask ourselves, what things will I no longer tolerate in my life? We tolerate a lot to be liked but do we like ourselves in the process?
Stage two is the choice point, once we know we are being untrue to ourselves by following the crowd and doing what we are conditioned to do, we face a choice, do I mend my ways, like shed that extra weight and get healthy, or, do I carry on getting those takeaways because it is just a click on the Deliveroo app when I know it will not serve me in the long run?
Life is a wonderful gift and it is a treasure. If we hear what people say on their deathbed on life regrets it is not that I wish I had had more junk food or binged watched TV more, it will be more like I wish I had got fit in order to run the London Marathon I had set my heart to run.
As E.E. Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you truly are”.
Daxa Manhar Patel is a leadership coach, author and solicitor.