I lost my dad to suicide at an early age, we need a community effort to prevent more deaths - Ellie MacDonald

This had a huge impact on me.

I grew up lacking self-esteem, I was sad and angry and it took years to realise the pattern I’d learnt – I’d developed a defence mechanism of pushing people close to me away, afraid they were about to leave me.

It has taken more than 30 years of self-development and counselling to understand the significant impact my dad’s suicide had on me – exacerbated by the fact that nobody dared talk about his death like they would an accident or illness.

Suicide was the elephant in the room and it shocks me that this hasn’t changed much at all.

35 years on since my dad’s death and suicide is the biggest killer of anyone under 35 and men under 50 in the UK.

We lose around 1,500 people in road accidents each year yet we constantly see road signs, TV and radio adverts, we have seatbelts, technology to improve driving, roadworks to help aid traffic and more.

Yet we lose more than 6,000 people a year to suicide – where are the safety notices for that?

This is a huge cause for concern but there is hope.

We know that most people thinking of suicide do not want to die. They want the pain to stop.

Many people give off signs to show they’re struggling; so if we only knew what signs to look for and how to respond, suicide has to be one of the most preventable deaths.

And it’s this hope that I now have and want to bring to others to help save lives.

I’ve gone from running a PR business over the past nine years to channelling the pain I’ve carried with me for so long into something positive.

I recently formed a Community Interest Company, HelloHope to bring mental health and suicide prevention training to the masses.

For me, suicide prevention is a community effort. We need more kindness in the world and people trained to respond to people in need.

I’ve spent the past couple of years researching and retraining as a mental health and suicide prevention trainer, undertaking as much training as possible to take the best and bring it to communities, schools and businesses.

And I plan to use my PR expertise to help raise awareness and reduce stigma as quickly as possible too.

This is why I share my story. Not for sympathy but to lead by example. We don’t feel ashamed speaking about a broken leg, the flu or even cancer so why is it still so hard to speak about a poorly brain?

I’ve been there – I’ve had thoughts of suicide and it’s worth noting that a passing thought is just that – a thought.

The human brain is capable of thinking anything so a fleeting thought isn’t worrying in isolation.

It’s when the thinking becomes regular, extreme and these thoughts turn into behaviours and planning to end one’s life that intervention is critical.

Sadly our NHS is struggling and when it comes to mental health, it is not set up to support people as they need it.

I’m sorry to call on ordinary people to help but surely that’s what being a human being is all about?

And not only is this the ethical thing for employers to do, investing in life-saving training is a cost-effective method to a detrimental problem.

In 2022, the cost of suicide to the economy was £9.5bn across the UK, and an average cost of at least £1.46m for every life lost to suicide.

Employment productivity losses account for one third of suicide costs. In 2022 that means employers lost £2.48bn in England alone.

Prevention training courses range from free to a few hundred pounds.

My hope is that people join me in becoming kind citizens, people who actively look out for each other and are equipped with simple yet vital lifesaving skills to be able to help someone in need.

We all have a responsibility to protect each other, let others know they matter and help when needed.

From traditional and social media reporting less on the death of a suicide and focusing on someone’s life so we can limit copycat suicides and promote life and hope; to all of us using the correct language – avoiding outdated phrases such as ‘commit suicide’ and replacing it with ‘took their own life’ or ‘died by suicide’; these simple changes help reduce stigma and make it easier for people to open up and talk about their struggles – a proven method to help someone in need.

So next time something feels off, a colleague, loved one or even a stranger doesn’t seem themselves or quite right, take the time to speak to them, actively listen to what they have to say and get them to a place of safety.

You might just save a life.

Ellie MacDonald is the founder and CEO of HelloHope.