Ian McMIllan gives his advice to those who are a bit camera shy

This way, Ian. Keep your eyes on the lens. Now look past me, past my left shoulder. Now hold the book. Now look at the book. Now hold the book but don’t look at it. Now close the book. Now open the book. Can we lose the book for a close-up? On you, not the book? Closer, Ian. Closer. Not that close; you don’t want to scare people in Cleckheaton.

Yes, that’s me in the picture. I’m doing the publicity for my new book and, although some writers might grumble about having their photograph taken because it takes away time at the laptop, I don’t mind. In fact (and whisper this, although it’s probably obvious) I’m a show-off. I’ll just gaze into the middle distance looking bohemian as the camera clicks.

I always tell photographers that I love having my picture taken and then I can see the relief slide across their faces. They tell me stories of people who, when they see the camera approaching, say things like “You’re not going to take my photo, are you?” and the photographer has to explain to them that they’re part of a story that’s going in the paper and they agreed that their book was going to get some publicity and in fact they sent a press release out about it so they’ve just got to grin and bear it, as long as the grin isn’t too silly.

Some people would say that being a writer should be enough, and it’s true that you can just write for yourself or your family or you could just have ten copies printed privately as Christmas presents, but once you sail out into the often calm and occasionally choppy waters of commercial publishing, you have to do everything you can to sell the work and that includes having your photo taken.

My advice to someone who doesn’t like having their picture taken is simple, and it comes from the fact that I’m a storyteller who loves to make things up: pretend it’s not you in the photo. Pretend that you’re part of a narrative, that you’re a character in a novel. Convince yourself that, no matter how good the photographer is, the picture they’re taking is in fact an elaborate piece of fiction. The person being asked to look that way and then look that way and then smile and then look serious isn’t really you. Think of the person looking down the lens as somebody playing you in a film. That often works. When I’m having my picture taken, I always say “Can you make me look tall?” or ‘Can you put that filter on that makes me look 20 years younger?’ and we both laugh because we’re both in on the joke.

So just relax. Don’t look unhappy. Say HAYHAY because that makes you smile. Think about daft things. Forget about the fact there are hairs coming out of your ears. Ignore the way your mouth seems to turn down at one corner. Just enjoy it: remember, it’s not you, it’s a picture of you, and they’re not quite the same thing.