It would be unfair to condemn Tommy Robinson without understanding why what he says resonates with some - Daxa Patel
The fragility of life knocks on our door when an event personal or nearby makes us realise what a privilege this life is. I heard yesterday that a former colleague died, she died too young and achieved so much. I went from a state of disbelief to a state of gratitude for having got to know her a little.
We all come across people who are upbeat, super positive and they make the most of a terrible illness but how often do we take this as a cue to count our blessings. Often this feeling lasts until the day of the funeral, then we get consumed by day-to-day life, and narratives in our heads about whom we like or not and so forth.
Carrying grudges, hurt and being judgemental about others is not an unusual human trait, fortunately, our dogs are the opposite. They have no such hang ups; they wag their tails and greet us with joy even if we are out of their sight for two minutes. Love is what brings the best out of us and love is not for sale. We either feel it, have it and share it or it stays inside us silenced and unacknowledged.
World events disturb us, yet we have little control over the outcome of these events. A few days back I found myself in a social setting where Tommy Robinson’s name was mentioned and talk of him being treated unfairly by the ‘system’ came up. I do not know much other than what I have heard and read, but the rhetoric banded by the media becomes real unless we take the trouble to figure out the truth, assuming that is possible from a distance.
In order to know more I found myself watching a video of a news interview between him, and an Indian news anchor. Some of what he said resonated, and he seemed rational, a person who cared. I may be opening myself up for criticism for even mentioning Tommy Robinson, but it would be unfair, if I did not check my own prejudices before condemning someone.
There is a clear difference between a fascist view vs a patriotic view. He repeatedly mentioned white girls being groomed, and we know from the Rotherham scandal that this did happen and may still be happening. Who are these men who think our daughters are fair game? We must condemn them and applaud those who remind us of this criminality, so we remain vigilant and prevent the recurrence.
So where am I going with all this you may well ask? My point is, it is so easy to not listen with respect to another point of view, and so easy to condemn folk for saying what we might be thinking secretly.
We live in a society where we often walk on eggshells for fear of hurting someone’s belief, but can we legitimise not allowing freedom of speech no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Being politically current means we are not permitted to call a spade a spade for fear of causing upset. I remember years ago a union representative told me to get some liver down my throat because he thought I was, in his words, 'wasting away’. Now, it was within my gift to make a big thing of this, but the truth is, I had enormous respect for this guy. Yes, I am a vegetarian so what he said was offensive, but he did not mean to offend me.
If Tommy Robinson is sharing a view on behalf of others and is being treated with contempt because we have labelled him as bad, can we just look beneath the surface. Is he representing a view that is struggling to be heard? Can we at least hear it?
There are consequential events that occur in our world, but our actions and words matter, so does listening to another point of view. As the USA head for a milestone event, either they will elect a convicted man as their President or the first woman, and that too of colour as their next President. These leaders have a duty of care but so do we because all said and done, our life has a best before date, let us all in our own small way make it count by being open and respectful to a different opinion.
Hold off condemning another just because it is easy to lash out, rather than showing decency and restraint. This advice applies to me first and foremost but it is my view that we do not reflect on how we behave or think until we find ourselves in a place where we recognise we all will one day turn into dust, so let us make our life as impactful, positive, and useful to others as my colleague did in her short life yet impactful life.
She was given an incurable prognosis, yet she went onto run races, including the last Leeds Half marathon and she raised funds for her charity, which was to give families of terminal diagnosis a respite/ retreat where they can make happy and precious memories.
In stepping back and listening, we open up a world of possibilities for connection and understanding - fostering an environment where dialogue prevails over discord and compassion triumphs over condemnation. Just as my colleague's legacy continues to inspire through her selfless acts and indomitable spirit, let us strive to leave a mark that is built on kindness and empathy.
Daxa Manhar Patel is a leadership coach, author and solicitor.