Kathryn Apanowicz: This International Women's Day I want to pay tribute to the friend who was like a sister to me - Christa Ackroyd

Yet even though I had known she must leave us, like all loss, the pain is unbearable. But bear it I will. Or she would be so so cross with me.

And if she remained positive until the end then so can I. We both hated negativity. We often talked often about how it sucked the joy out of living. So I dare not be sentimental. We knew what we meant to each other.

Kathryn Apanowicz was the original QB. Let me explain. Quality Bird is the oh so politically incorrect nickname given to her by the love of her life Richard Whiteley.

There were three of us in his gang. His partner Kathryn, myself and Carol Vorderman.

It is what he called us and so what we called each other when he was gone. We wrote it in birthday cards and on texts. And spoke it aloud. QBs together. And what a quality bird she was.

I spoke to her almost every day in the twenty years since Richard died. This week the silence has been deafening. Richard was my friend and through him I met Kathy.

She said often that I was the gift he left her to keep on going. And I would reply stuff and nonsense. We were rarely smaltzy. So I will try not to be today.

But the fact she told a mutual friend in the week before she died that I was like a sister to her I will forever hold in my heart.

When I think of Kathy I think of fun. She was a huge part of my family. Irreplaceable to us all. We spent Christmas together almost every year.

We both hated New Year and I will treasure that we were together this one last time, with our glass of fizz and a “cold collation “ as we called a supper on our knees of bits and bats in front of the telly.

Kathy was at every family event. Weddings, big birthday bashes and holidays. They inevitably ended in a sing song. Always theatrical, there was not a single lyric written that she didn’t know word for word.

And we always sang our hearts out. We would perform at the drop of a hat. All my children and grandchildren were brought up with Aunty Kathy’s lion impression using a pint glass to roar out of sight which terrified and enchanted them in equal measures.

Who else would dress up as Olaf at a Disney Princess themed party?

Only last week one of the little ones sent her a video message thanking her for her birthday craft box and promising to make her a friendship bracelet with every colour under the sun but purple ‘because you don’t like purple do you Aunty Kathy’. I still have it on the dresser top to give her.

Together we would visit the theatre, the Crucible in Sheffield every year for their big Christmas musical, the Alhambra, Leeds and further afield.

Our last trip was to York only a few months ago when she was invited by her chum Giles Brandreth to an evening with Judy Dench. ‘They say you should never meet your heroes’ she said after they had chatted together. ‘Judy didn’t disappoint.‘

What a way with words she had.

Even when she was poorly she remained the consummate actress. Her career began as a youngster in Junior Showtime.

It took her to instant recognition through Angels, Bugsby Malone, Emmerdale (she chose the name Ackroyd for her reporter character) Eastenders, Corrie and much much more.

She trod the boards in theatres across the country. Her last birthday gift was a copy of a french film about the Brontës in which she appeared in an unflattering bonnet as l’imbecile. We never did watch it together.

I probably can’t now. Just as she never watched a television programme with Richard in from the day he died.

She was incredibly clever. ( We were devastated when we didn’t win the weekly lockdown quiz during the pandemic ). But as I used to tell her she was also as mad as a box of frogs.

Who else would I be with when we were asked by the chief ghost to leave the haunted house in Luna Park Sydney for laughing too much? Who else will I now text with our critiques during every performance of Strictly?

Or discuss a topic for this column, her thoughts often ending up on this very page. Who else can I whinge and moan with while putting the world to rights until it was ?

But it is the uproarious uncontrollable laughter I will miss the most.

We laughed and laughed so many times til we cried. We were so daft together. So nonsensical. So in tune. And it is that laughter I will cherish.

Kathy was my dearest chum, my pal. Together we saw the fireworks over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the back streets of Vietnam, the elephants in Sri Lanka and the sun come up over the Taj Mahal.

We travelled the world with an easy friendship born out of the loss of a great man. We ate at the very best restaurants but were just as happy with a bag of chips on a boat leaving Whitby harbour.

We treasured our roots in Yorkshire and the good honest folk who brought us up to believe that we truly will meet again and pick up exactly where we left off. But until we do the world will be a much duller place.

Rest easy my friend. Give Richard a hug from me. We had the best of times. We were there for each other in the worst of times. But above all in the words of Abba Thankyou for the music.

One half of our double act will always be missing. But we were so lucky to have had our friendship. We only said it once.

I loved you. But then you knew that.