Living with lockdown anxiety; I won’t go out until there’s a vaccine – GP Taylor

For others like me and the 70 per cent who did our bit to obey the Government, socially distance and attempt to bring the pandemic to an end, life really did change on that distant day in March.

The time in between has been spent doing all the jobs that needed doing and that I always put off, reading, writing a new book and watching all the
people stream past my house in Whitby as if nothing had changed.

Now, Boris Johnson wants us all to return to our offices, go into shops, albeit wearing face coverings from next week, and re-start the economy. Let’s face it, if the truth be known, now is not the time to end lockdown.

It is only coming to an end because the financiers and business people are feeling the pinch in their wallets. We, the economic fodder, haven’t spent enough cash.

Over the last few months, I have taken lockdown very seriously. Food has been bought online, exercise taken in the garden and I have had no social contact outside the household. It has been life changing and I do not want to go back to the way things were before.

I have watched as the skies cleared of vapour trails and have listened to the sound of birds singing in my town centre street. Wildlife has crept nearer and nearer and the clock of the parish church could be heard across the town. Traffic noise was at a minimum and the crash of the distant waves was the only intrusion into the peace. Even those visitors breaking lockdown did so quietly.

For my part, I am sad that lockdown has ended. The sky is now filling up with air traffic
and car noise is back to normal levels. People passing my house seem to feel that every conversation has to be shouted. There is no social distancing, and I am yet to see a passenger get off a bus at the stop outside my house wearing PPE.

I fear that a second wave is inevitable and that thousands more lives will be lost. It is because of this that I have decided I will not be coming out of lockdown until a vaccine or treatment is found.

I admit I am still scared
of the virus and how easy it is to catch it. My trust in the Government is at an all-time low and I do not believe a word they say. Their refusal to make the wearing of face masks compulsory outside the home is shameful, even though the ‘science’ says that it reduces infection by 63 per cent.

Being in two of the high-risk groups doesn’t give me a good chance of surviving if I caught Covid-19. Losing an old friend to the disease has made me realise it could have easily been me.

In this I am not alone as there are a growing number of people who feel the same way and are reluctant to resume life as normal. A recent survey suggests that only 16 per cent of people want life to go back to how
it was.

For some, there is a real fear about leaving lockdown. The anxiety about possibly catching Covid-19 and giving it to a vulnerable family member is very real. The transition back to normality can be seen to be daunting.

This week, I decided to take a short drive as I had not left the house for months. As I travelled out of my street, panic gripped me. I wanted to go back and had the feeling that I shouldn’t be outside. It was an anxiety that took hold quickly and even though it was completely irrational, I felt as though I was under a direct threat.

I know I have lockdown anxiety and I don’t think it is such a bad thing. The pandemic has changed me and my expectations about my life.

It has made me realise that society could change for the better. Our roads could be quieter and our lives more fulfilled and less hurried and stressed.

As a writer, I am fortunate that I have always worked from home. Yet, I am hearing more and more people in different jobs saying that lockdown has shown them that the office is not needed.

Barclays Bank is already looking into a more de-centralised approach to staff working. The lockdown restrictions created a platform to test out remote working for 70,000 out of its 80,000 staff.

Working from home doesn’t change day-to-day work, it just means employees will be doing it from a different location. Some companies also believe it increases productivity as there are less distractions for staff who have not had to endure a difficult commute.

Boris may be ringing the closing bell on lockdown, but for me and a growing number of people, it is a new way of life.

GP Taylor is an author and broadcaster. He lives in Whitby.

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