The new school year can be particularly daunting for neurodivergent children, here’s what can be done to help them - Dr Laura Powling

The extent to which neurodivergent children experience school differently is often underestimated. This may partly be due to masking which hides many children’s struggles, as well as the tendency to mislabel signs of dysregulation as bad behaviour.

Thoughts on school support for their neurodivergent pupils are a subject for another article. My focus today is on how parents can help build their child’s stamina and reduce anxiety.

After a relaxed summer schedule, the stricter, faster-paced school timetable can feel shocking, compounded by the changes a new term brings, like a new teacher and a different seating plan.

Keeping home a predictable, calm place to recharge, with minimal demands, is helpful.

The sensory intensity of noise, crowds, smells, uniforms and playground bustle, can be overwhelming, leading to fatigue, meltdowns or withdrawal.

Opportunities for sensory regulation, inside and outside of school are valuable, from movement, to quiet time and sensory play.

Navigating social interactions can be confusing. Children with autism or ADHD can struggle to slot into peer groups and interpret social rules.

Problem-solving and conflict management skills can be supported by parents ‘thinking aloud’ about how to handle friendship issues, while tricky situations (like asking for help or joining in games) can be practiced with role play. Interest-based clubs can be easier than unstructured playground time, so might be encouraged.

The mental effort of school, requiring organisation, attention, following a timetable and completing work to deadlines, can feel so taxing as to lead to avoidance. Behavioural regulation such as sitting still and following rules is an additional challenge for children with ADHD. Trying to cope might cause behavioural impulsivity, like talking out of turn, fidgeting, irritability and restlessness.

Overwhelm can be reduced through checklists and breaking tasks into smaller, achievable steps. Self-esteem and resilience are supported by encouragement of, and celebrating, small wins, such as getting ready on time, walking into school and completing a day.

Short bursts of focus can be practiced at home, like reading for five minutes, doing a puzzle, or drawing, to gently support stamina.

Coping with school can trigger strong emotional responses or shutdowns, resulting from dysregulation.

Encouraging the sharing of feelings (through a conversation, drawing, or writing) can help to validate and address worries, while calming activities such as reading, drawing and sensory play support emotional regulation. Coping strategies might be introduced, from breathing exercises and sensory tools to talking with a trusted adult at school or visiting a calm space there.

Nonetheless, parents will often see after-school ‘meltdowns’, from a child who has held it together in class but releases the stress at home.

Across these areas, communication with school is critical. By helping teachers understand their child’s most significant needs and sharing strategies that work, parents are not only advocating but acting as expert partners to the school.

Acknowledging the scale of additional challenge for, and expectation on, neurodivergent pupils, is an important step towards supporting them in a way that enables them to enjoy a positive school experience.

Dr Laura Powling is the founder and CEO of Evolve.