What on earth has happened to theatre manners? - Christa Ackroyd

For many families the festive season wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the pantomime.

Growing up in Bradford it was always a treat. It is one of the reasons why I absolutely love the Alhambra with its magnificent gilded interior designed to impress by impresario Francis Laidler in 1914. And impress it still does.

Every time I visit I look out for the masks above the boxes of comedy and tragedy which have come to represent the performing arts pointed out to me as a child. I went to the theatre many times growing up.

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I saw my dad sing with the Bradford Police Choir. The annual captive nations concert performed by the Polish, Lithuanian, Czech and Hungarian communities which had made Bradford their home after the war was always a moving and magnificent spectacle.

The Theatre Royal Wakefield's pantomime.The Theatre Royal Wakefield's pantomime.
The Theatre Royal Wakefield's pantomime.

In the audience many who had fled their homeland were in tears as they remembered those they had left behind. I saw ballet with my aunty and Swan Lake will always be my favourite as a result.

Each visit left an indelible mark on me that remains to this day and proof that music and theatre is among the most powerful way to evoke memories and emotions.

To go to the theatre was a special event. It still is. But it was the annual trip to the pantomime that was for me the epitome of luxury.

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Because it was the one time my ever thrifty mum didn’t bring sweets in a plastic bag. Instead we were allowed a box, yes a box, of Maltesers to share. And that to me represented the biggest treat imaginable.

Did you know that Maltesers were actually first marketed in the late 1930s by Mars for women? It seems the marketing men, and I presume they were mostly men, already knew even that women and body image were inextricably linked in advertising.

So much so that they were introduced here and in the States and Australia as ‘the lighter way to enjoy chocolate’. Not so much perhaps if you guzzle the entire box which I can easily do. Anyway back to theatre.

It is still among my favourite pastimes, albeit a costly one. What saddens me is that it is so often prohibitive for families when West End shows charge West End prices in the provinces. So when I go I expect every moment to be worth the cost of the ticket. And I expect the audience to behave accordingly.

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In the past week or so they didn’t. And I actually think the theatre management should shoulder some of the blame. I don’t think I am alone. So this week’s column is about what on earth has happened to theatre manners?

The crunching of popcorn in the cinema one thing. It is annoying but it sort of goes with the territory. People talking throughout a performance in either the cinema or the theatre is completely unacceptable as is people wandering in an out willy nilly.

But those who have had too much to drink should be absolutely banned on entry and ejected at the first sign of trouble.

A couple of weeks ago I went to see the lights of London town. The train tickets were expensive, the cost of a cup of tea in one establishment was around £20.

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Being canny Yorkshirewomen we refused to pay and found a little off street cafe where it was less than a fiver, although a piece of cake was a whopping £12, which we shared. We had managed to get tickets to see Cabaret for £120.

The people sitting on the table next to us had paid an eye watering £300. It ended up being a complete waste of money whatever we had saved. The performance was completely ruined by a drunken theatre goer who lolloped noisily up and down the stairs three times before he was finally ejected.

What’s more he wandered in and out of the dressing room at side of the auditorium next to us which in turn meant we could hear the performers talking in between scenes. It was truly shocking. And it went on for far too long, for an hour at least.

What’s more it was left to a young girl to follow him around and presumably eventually seek help in chucking him out, leaving those seated next to him in the circle disgruntled and those who he lolled around next to near the stage slightly intimidated. We left at half time.

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Meanwhile in the same week right before his big soliloquy David Tennant was taken off the stage during a performance of Macbeth after a member of the audience complained loudly that there was no interval and he needed the toilet.

This was not a muttering to a member of staff but a direct attempt to converse with the actor on stage.

Across town the night before we were in London a close friend of mine ended up covered in wine when a visitor to the pantomime at the Palladium threw a pint, yes a pint, of red wine all over him drenching him from head to toe and leaving his clothes ruined and in his words him smelling like a tap room carpet.

In October I felt compelled to tell a woman with her back to singer Will Young to please stop talking and laughing out loud as he tried to perform.

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I understand the same artist left the stage later in the tour because the heckling, presumably through drink, became too much. He apologised for leaving but said it was the worst experience he had ever had during his 20 years performing .

And so I ask what is wrong with people? What is wrong with theatre management that they are not only charging an arm and a leg for tickets but are up selling with copious amounts of alcohol before and during the performance. What is wrong with ordering a drink in the interval and leaving it at that?

I have seen far worse behaviour from adults watching a performance this year than I saw when 300 children attended a sold out performance of Wicked at the cinema. And I am at a loss to understand why. Maybe the cost of the tickets leads to some believing they are entitled to behave as they please.

Maybe the management have simply forgotten how to manage. Maybe I am getting cranky and bad tempered in my old age.

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But I tell you one thing, it does not draw me back in a hurry.

Theatre should be magical. It should transport the audience to another place another time and draw us in. And we don’t need distractions. So if it’s a boozy night you are after do us a favour and stay down the pub.

At the pantomime you expect audience participation. It is encouraged that the audience shouts out and sings along.

But can we please stop turning an evening at other performances into a pantomime. If not, it’s an ‘oh no she won’t’ from me when it comes to spending my hard earned money on an evening at the theatre.

Until then I will stick to a matinee. The theatre goers may be older but at least in my experience they know how to behave.

And the good news is you are back home and in bed by ten o’clock.

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